Even 2 More Quickies

Even 2 More Quickies

1. At The Car Dealership

A lady walked into a Lexus dealership just to browse. Suddenly she spotted the most beautiful car that she had ever seen and walked over to inspect it. As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little fart escaped.
Embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed and hoped a salesperson hadn't been near. But, as she turned back, there, standing next to her, was a salesman.
With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"
Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiled back and asked, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that, if you farted simply from touching it, you are going to shit when you hear the price."

2. Why Men Have Better Friends

Women's Friends: A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The husband called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew what she was talking about.

Men's Friends: A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.
The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed he was still there.




Embedded Text Messages Ruin Relationship
WINNIPEG, Manitoba, Canada -- Maintaining a relationship can be difficult enough at times, Voyeurwebbers, but technology may now be making it even more difficult. Consider the case of a 49-year-old man in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, who recently bought a new Samsung Virgin Mobil phone.
Suggestive text messages embedded in a new cellphone cost the man his relationship when his girlfriend discovered them, said officials. The man, who didn't want to be identified, told the Winnipeg journalists his girlfriend of more than two years found the messages on the phone and a break-up fight ensued.
He said he didn't even know the Samsung Virgin Mobile phone was text-equipped, but the three messages that came with the phone cost him the relationship. They included "Booty call," "Where u at," and "Be there soon," according to news reports.
He said Virgin Mobile advised him to file a written complaint.
The man also showed the messages to staff at the Future Shop store where he bought the cellphone.
"At first, we didn't believe him," said a sales associate. "But when we looked at a couple of the same [model] phones he bought, and found they all had the same messages ... we all felt horrible."




Strip Clubs by K.
While freedom of expression and freedom of choice won a victory last week in the U.S. state of Maryland's Montgomery County, Voyeurwebbers, a few states southwest of Maryland efforts are being made to do just the opposite.
In Jefferson City, Missouri, members of the state Senate gave preliminary approval of legislation that may change the "show me" state, into the "don't show me" state.
The legislation would placing far-reaching restrictions on adult-entertainment businesses in Missouri, and may continue on a legislative fast track due to a federal investigation.
State Sen. Matt Bartle presented the bill on the Senate floor just two days after he appeared before a federal grand jury in Kansas City, Missouri, to answer questions about the defeat of a nearly identical bill in 2005.
To become law, legislation approved Thursday must be voted on once more in the Senate, passed through the state House and ultimately signed by the governor. But if successful, it would represent a sea change for adult-oriented businesses.
Among the legislation's provisions: Nudity would be banned in strip clubs. Semi-nude dancers would have to stay at least six feet away from and not touch patrons. Adult businesses would have to close between midnight and 6 a.m. and could not sell alcohol. Adult businesses could not be opened within 1,000 feet of a school, church, day-care facility, library, park, residence or another adult business.
If upheld in court, the law probably would shut down strip clubs and adult bookstores, said attorney Dick Bryant, who represents about a dozen adult entertainment businesses in the Kansas City area.
As Eye sees it, Voyeurwebbers, banning nudity in strip clubs violates the constitutional right to freedom of expression for the dancers, and violates freedom of choice for both the dancers and the club's customers, as does the proposed ban on selling alcohol in adult entertainment establishments. Eye also thinks the Missouri state legislature has more important issues to deal with these days than putting the employees of 12 local businesses out of work. K.