Playboy's NC Double D: Best College Babe Bracket, powered by Bracketeers

Playboy's NC Double D: Best College Babe Bracket, powered by Bracketeers

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SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2010

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2010



Today's Cryptogram

Cryptogram for February 21
Below is today's love quote cryptogram (single letter substitution):
IGZ LB PGDV, YCR IVR LR LK JNLRLKI..... IHOBH NGBV PVV
Answer to yesterday's cryptogram: We must love one another. We must bear one another's burdens....John Winthrop sermon 1620

February 21, 2002
T V S N U A X J J W N G V W M T R W.

T Q S J Z A W W: P F G G V W A W

Q S J R X X R W G X Q W M U X B W

B W G X G V W M S R N X Z Z A W W N X B.

T Q S J S J G A S R L W A

T R S J G A S R L W M S R N.

- V S A A T W G G F P B S R



(Hint: It's an inspirational quote or bit o' wisdom, with the name of the person who is credited as having said it.)
Cryptogram
"RTK NBNKE RWJYXKN, SZNKN'D
WP WYSNKPWSJBN ITXKDN TR
WISJTP. ETX AXDS ZWBN ST
RJPU JS. VZNP ETX ITGN ST W
KTWULYTIQ, SWQN W UNSTXK."
--GWKE QWE WDZ
My Decoded Version
"--- ----- -------, -----'-
-- ----------- ------ --
------. --- ---- ---- --
---- --. ---- --- ---- -- -
---------, ---- - ------."
------ --- ---

The Encrypted Letter
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
represents
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -

A B C D E F G H I J K L M
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
1 3 0 4 5 0 2 0 4 5 9 1 0

N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
13 0 5 3 4 10 12 3 1 13 6 3 4
Reset
Yesterday's Cryptogram Answer, and Today's Quote of the Day, is:
"No problem can stand the assault of sustained thinking." --Voltaire


ZGT ZWMYZ VA ZGT KLLVHTLZ KY ZGT QKNW'Y DVYZ MYTAMQ ZVVQ
YZTJGTL UKLE


JPO OI ZQIEV PAK VGUZ FZ, PD BPAKZI, JPO OI ZQIEV PAK CFSIZ.
GEEFI VFCCGKV


DTDPSGWD LH RS HQADPLGP, UVYU L RYS MDYPW JPGR VLR. YQUVGP QWEWGXW (AGXDPAMYS)
Y8X8YHYYNYY82MESDMKM2JGM2Z4S5S3M2MPDFM1S5ZBVRV5BQF535ZG6TZQZ7ZVZ3ZC8XA6WG8Y418YN4MUMZSUM397M2MPMR8UA2Z1M2M2ZGVDZRZ5ZKZ5ZJVB4GVP45M4Z5R3AQ91W78Z6X8Y3UMH3PM2MRD2MMM3S2M9M2SAM2HJV63H6PZ5MVZVTHV3V6V5ZJB5Y5M
EVERYONE IS MY SUPERIOR, THAT I MAY LEARN FROM HIM. AUTHOR UNKNOWN (POWERPLAY)



2/21 O'CS PSZHM QWNDL FZND WQ Z IWMA WQ YZFSH FPZF OL UHSSRA. O ISNOSCS OF YZL UZNNSM NZDS SSHOS.
Y868YAYYBYY82MESDMKM2DGM2Z4S5S3MAMQDFM1S5ZBVRV5TQF535ZG6TZQZAZVZ3ZC8X96KG8Y518YN4MUMZSJM397M2MPMR8US211M2M2ZGVDZRZ5ZKZ5ZJVB4GV335M4Z5R3AQ9ZWT8Z6X8Y3UMH3PS2MRD2MMM3S2M9M2SAM2HJV63R6UZ5MVZVTHV3V665ZJB5Y5M
2/21 I'VE HEARD FOLKS TALK OF A BODY OF WATER THAT IS CREEPY. I BELIEVE IT WAS CALLED LAKE EERIE.


Today's Crypto Number (3783) (Sunday)
VIZ VDL TJAQLOT LK VIZ SZMHQOGBCF MCSVJ CF ZOZMICFV CFX C QGY KCV DIGVZ YHJ DIL GT VISZCVZFZX QJ BICFYZ.--TZVI ACBKCSOCFZ
Hint: V=T

Yesterday's Answer Number(1493) (Saturday) KQY JIS TOKS PIVC BIVJSCP BKJ ZI GIC PIV KQY TOKS PIV BKJ ZI GIC PIVC BIVJSCP.--RIOJ G. YHJJHZP Ask not what your country can do for you Ask what you can do for your country.--John F. Kennedy

Wordles Thought for the Day:
Dieting is murder on the road. Show me a man who travels and I'll show you one who eats.
-Bruce Froemming
IM ITFJBUM IJ I NTMLGIV DIGVUG HUTVP KL GIJQLG EUGL-KBP.
Hint: B = I

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 2010

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 2010



Today's Cryptogram

Cryptogram for February 17
Below is today's love quote cryptogram (single letter substitution):
EUWUZL SUOXB NX WIM NL NUMAXF, YEZ BAX KUISZ WX GDODE' MUU..... W. W. RDEV
Answer to yesterday's cryptogram: Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it..... Russell Baker

(Hint: It's an inspirational quote or bit o' wisdom, with the name of the person who is credited as having said it.)
Cryptogram
"IKTVV FG LTFY FG MPGGHXVT
UP UJT BJFLLTV HL KJHBJ SPDY
VHWT WVPKG." --JTLYS IFQHI
UJPYTFD
My Decoded Version
"----- -- ---- -- --------
-- --- ------- -- ----- ----
---- -----." ------- -----
-------

The Encrypted Letter
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
represents
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -

A B C D E F G H I J K L M
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
0 2 0 2 0 6 5 5 3 6 3 5 1

N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
0 0 5 1 0 2 8 3 6 2 1 4 0
Reset
Yesterday's Cryptogram Answer, and Today's Quote of the Day, is:
"Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content." --Helen Keller

ZYY UIF YHXLM SL YHXL HA PBZHAM ZAN ALXLF DAUS SL BUYN CBL DLK



QXXOCLRU FVX FL FNNCWOCMX, YCRYHI UXHA-CLNSHRXLO FWOCMCOI OYFO WKVZKVFOCKLU FLN KOYXV HFVRX KVRFLCPFOCKLU YFTCOSFHHI XLRFRX CL KLHI TXWFSUX OYXI WFLLKO FWOSFHHI QFUOSVTFOX
NFMX TFVVI


Today's Crypto Number (2479) (Wednesday)
JBLNL DSAL S JCAL IBLF JBL NCTH JZ NLASCF JCOBJ CF JBL PRQ IST AZNL USCFERV JBSF JBL NCTH CJ JZZH JZ PVZTTZA.--SFSCT FCF
Hint: J=T

Yesterday's Answer Number(3360) (Tuesday) XP KOO PXCID XP AKFBQXU AKFBQXU QU OXHT QD MTCWKMD BWT IXDB PKBKO BX BCFT WKMMQUTDD.--ZTCBCKUE CFDDTOO Of all forms of caution caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.--Bertrand Russell

Wordles Thought for the Day:
To do great work a man must be very idle as well as very industrious
-Samuel Butler
SLCH WCRCFOQ UFGNCWWGFW FCEJFCV COFQM ELC VCOH SOW ONFOJV ELOE LC SOW QGWJHP LJW NODAQEJCW.
Hint: G = O


PD IRDN NYMR PD QM LMRMBDJT ZRA NYMR PD QM HXBV -- PYXT XT NXTADV. MEQMBP YJQQZBA
Y848YAYYBYY82MFSJMKM2BGM2Z4AVSZM2MSDFM1S5ZBVRV5VQF535ZG6TZQZJZVZ3ZC8T8GWG8Y518YN4MPS8SHM397M2MPMRFUA211M2M2ZGV9ZRZ4ZKZ5ZJV1KTVN35M4Z5R3AQ9ZWT8Z6X8Y3UMH3PS2MRD2MMMKS4M5M2SAM2HJVR3G6BZ5MVZVTHV36665ZJB5Y5M
TO KNOW WHEN TO BE GENEROUS AND WHEN TO BE FIRM -- THIS IS WISDOM. ELBERT HUBBARD



2/17 QGBW VBDAFSW JZMSHSFWFWH FDB FDDBHABE FWE XFSJBE, S TMBHH KZM QZMJE HFK AGFA'H VFTSWT VFXMWH.
Y8H8Y8YYYYY82MFSJMKM24GM2Z4AVSZMVMDDFM1S5ZBVRV5VQF535ZG6TZQZPZVZ3ZC8T7GGG8Y418YN4MPS8SSM297M2MPMRFUM231M2M2ZGV9Z2Z3ZKZ5ZJV1KTVR45M4Z5R3AQ91WQ8Z6X8Y3UMH3PA2MRD2MMMKS4M9M2SAM2HJVR326WZ5MVZVTHV366V5ZJB5Y5M
2/17 WHEN CERTAIN LOUISIANANS ARE ARRESTED AND JAILED, I GUESS YOU WOULD SAY THAT'S CAGING CAJUNS.

Candace Rae
Hometown: Winnipeg, MBL
Birthday: August 1, 1980
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 118 lbs
Measurements: 34D-24-36


The daughter of a female race car driver, this Winnipeg beauty describes her ideal romantic outing as "catching a hockey, football and baseball game in the same weekend!"... In other words, if you're a sports fan, Candace could be your dream girl. But don't bother pursuing her if your social skills aren't up to snuff. "If I go out to dinner with a guy and he's rude to the waiter, no second date for him!" Candace, currently the CEO of a modeling company, hopes to move into politics, "although," she says, "once you pose nude people tend to see you in a different light." She's got our vote.
Destiny White
Greenville, IN
Date of Birth: 12/09/1986
Height: 5'2"
Weight: 100 lbs.
Measurements: 33C-23-33

Dinner at Destiny's home is a major event. "I'm a great cook," she says. "For my friends, I make a mean burger, really good spicy chicken Alfredo and cookies. I'm very choosy about my ingredients -- nothing but organic." The free spirit is intent on using her acting chops to host a TV travel show. "I plan on going where the wind carries me," says Destiny. "I know that if I follow my instincts, life will turn out great

Sydney Max
COED OF THE WEEK 02/11/10
VITAL STATS
Name:
Sydney Max
School: University of Wisconsin, Madison
Major: Advertising


Is it true that sex sells?
Absolutely! Think about the Axe commercials. Want girls crawling all over you? Then you’re going to buy their products!
We’ve heard good things about the party scene at your school.
You heard right! Every night is a great bar or party night at UW-Madison!



NAME: Cristal Houston
BIRTHPLACE: Beaumont, Texas
BUST: 34"
WAIST: 24"
HIPS: 34"
HEIGHT: 5' 2"
WEIGHT: 98 lbs


Guys wouldn't mind a trip to the ER if every nurse looked like heart-stopping Lamar University brunette Cristal Houston. Ambitious and driven, Cristal is studying nursing and hopes to get her masters as a nurse practitioner. But if you want her to take more than a professional interest in your case, Cristal says you'll have to be "passionate, intelligent and a fun-loving free spirit," and it won't hurt if you have a great sense of humor. Cristal's also got a few date-planning tips for you guys: be sure to be creative and unique and make her laugh. Remember, it's nurse's orders

2-Fer

2-Fer

1. Punctuation

An English professor wrote the words: "A woman without her man is nothing." on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females in the class wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing."

-- Editor: Punctuation is powerful, hehehe!

2. Australian Investment Advice

In 2001, if you had bought $1,000 of One-Tel stock, it would now be worth about $9 to you as an unsecured creditor if you are lucky.
In 2002, if you had bought HIH stock, you would have about $6.50 left of the original $1,000 investment.
In 2003, if you had gone overseas and bought ENRON, you would have less than $5 left.
But, If you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer in early 2009 - one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned the aluminum cans in for the recycling price, you would have $24!
Based on the above, the best investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

-- Editor: Yep, and if you saved that $24 each year, in 40 years you can buy another $1,000 worth of beer, so you're actually recycling on two levels, hehehe!




Italian Brouhaha Over Pussy-Eating Comment!
ROME, Italy -- Ask anyone who has experienced it, Voyeurwebbers, and they will tell you that there's a right way and a wrong way to eat a pussy. Yet, in Italy, that very topic has gotten an Italian TV chef in a heap of hot water.
Beppe Bigazzi, a food expert on the TV program "The Cook's Challenge", was recently suspended from his job for telling the television audience about the wonders of "tender, white cat meat". Chef Bigazzi, 77, also told how to tenderize cat meat by leaving it under running water for three days before cooking it into "a delight".
Before you could say "catfight", the Italian Animal Protection Agency had its claws out, caterwauling that Bigazzi be permanently scratched from the program.
"Anyone who goes on television to promote the taste of cat meat is guilty of instigating viewers to commit an act of cruelty to animals, a crime punishable by up to 18 months in prison," the group said in a statement.
Chef Bigazzi later said he was talking about cats that were cooked in Tuscany, Italy, during food shortages of the Great Depression and World War II in the 1930s and 1940s, and was not recommending people today cook cats.
"I was just talking about an old tradition," he said.




'A Delicate Way' by K.
Eye has always been fascinated with the way language applies to men and women, Voyeurwebbers. For example, it is said that horses "sweat", men "perspire" and women "glow"; and women are "in a delicate way" or are "expecting" when other women talk, but when men talk, women are "pregnant", "preggo", "have a bun in the oven" or some other indelicate way of describing a woman in a "delicate way".
This leads Eye to today's column, which is about two different women apparently getting in a "delicate way" in an indelicate way. Confused? You won't be for long.
Our first pregnant woman has filed paternity claims against six separate inmates of a Romanian prison near the city of Iasi, where mother-to-be Raluca Dionescu says any one of the six convicts she met while working part-time as a cleaner at the jail could be the father.
As a result, the prisoners, who range in age from 24 to 25, will have to submit to blood and DNA tests.
Ms. Dionescu admitted she had enjoyed steamy, indelicate sessions with the inmates in the prison's laundry room.
"I couldn't resist some of the men," Ms. Dionescu explained. "I didn't think of them as criminals or the crimes they committed. What I want now, though, is to find out which one is the father of my child," she told Romanian news media.
Ms. Dionescu has six possible inmates who could be the one who indelicately got her in an indelicate way through the sneaky doing of the most enjoyable. Let's see ... Eye thinks she should she take the inmate behind cell No. 2 or cell No. 3.
You aren't still confused, are you?
Well, don't worry, you'll be thoroughly befuddled after the next item, which takes us to Cairo, where a Polish woman from Warsaw is suing an Egyptian hotel, claiming her teenage daughter got in a delicate way from swimming in the hotel's allegedly indelicate pool.
Eye wasn't kidding about the "befuddled" part, Voyeurwebbers.
The unique claim surfaced as M.K., the mother, demanded compensation after her 13-year-old daughter came back from the family vacation in a delicate way or, to put it indelicately, the daughter was pregnant (i.e. she has a bun in the oven).
Further confusing things, tourism authorities in Warsaw confirmed they had received the M.K.'s complaint which states that the girl conceived because of stray sperm in the pool.
"The mother is adamant that her daughter didn't meet any boys while she was there and is determined to go ahead with the case," said one Warsaw travel industry source.
As Eye sees it, Voyeurwebbers, there are at least six possibilities in this confusing case. Regrettably, they are all too indelicate for Eye to mention here. K.

All In The Family

All In The Family

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems.
Finally, the other man said: "You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation.
"A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter. We got married and I got myself a stepdaughter. Later, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother. And my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law.
"Much later, the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son. But he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grandson. That made me the grandfather of my half-brother.
"This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother. This makes my father, the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife, I am my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I am my OWN GRANDFATHER!
"And you think YOU have family problems!!!"

-- Editor: This guy's gotta be from West Virginia. Hehehe!




Blonde, 25, Voted Britain's Sexiest Female Farmer!
HUTTON RUDBY, ENGLAND -- By day she trains sheep dogs, drives heavy equipment and encourages livestock to mate, Voyeurwebbers; but by night she dons a miniskirt and goes out on the town.
She is Anna Simpson (no relation to Homer Simpson), an attractive, sexy, 25-year-old blonde who was just voted Britain's sexiest female farmer.
According to contest officials, Ms. Simpson proves not all farm hands chew straw and are scruffily dressed.
Simpson, of Hutton Rudby, Yorkshire, bested hundreds of rivals in a poll held by Farmer's Weekly magazine. Simpson said: "I think many people believe a stereotypical farmer is a man in his 60s but I wanted to show they can also be young women, who want to get stuck in but also enjoy a night out," Simpson told a British newspaper.
Pete Mortimore, 25, of Widdecombe-on-the-Moor, Devon, was voted Britain's sexiest male farmer. Mortimore and Simpson each won about $400 and a pair of Wellington Boots.




Marriage by K.
In case you missed it, Voyeurwebbers, the Chinese Celebrated their New Year on February 14, which marked the end of the Year of the Ox, and the beginning of the Year of the Tiger, according to the Chinese zodiac calendar.
This change from Ox to Tiger, as it turns out, is a very big deal in China, and caused a surge in demand for marriage certificates prior to the start of the Year of the Tiger. Officials in Beijing said the rush to marry is based on cultural beliefs regarding varying fortunes associated with certain dates. Since Sunday's new year holiday comes after the official beginning of spring based on the solar-agrarian calendar, some are concerned there is no Spring in the Year of the Tiger.
Zhao Shuoxin, a new bride, explained to a news reporter that she and her new husband, Zhang Ning, considered such beliefs when planning their wedding. "This is the end of the ox year and we hard the whole of the next one will be bad for marriage," said Zhao.
With no Spring, which is associated with procreation, some Chinese are concerned a "widow year" was created. Window years are associated with infertility.
Eye shared this little item with you, Voyeurwebbers, not only because it provides a look at interesting aspects of Chinese culture, but so those of you who aren't quite ready to commit yet, but have a partner who constantly reminds them that there is no "ready" in "commitment", will now have a legitimate excuse for avoiding tying the knot: "Sorry, Honey, we can't get married this year, it's not only the Year of the Tiger; it's a Widow Year as well. We'll have to wait until next year." K.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 2010

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 2010



Today's Cryptogram

Cryptogram for February 17
Below is today's love quote cryptogram (single letter substitution):
EUWUZL SUOXB NX WIM NL NUMAXF, YEZ BAX KUISZ WX GDODE' MUU..... W. W. RDEV
Answer to yesterday's cryptogram: Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it..... Russell Baker

(Hint: It's an inspirational quote or bit o' wisdom, with the name of the person who is credited as having said it.)
Cryptogram
"IKTVV FG LTFY FG MPGGHXVT
UP UJT BJFLLTV HL KJHBJ SPDY
VHWT WVPKG." --JTLYS IFQHI
UJPYTFD
My Decoded Version
"----- -- ---- -- --------
-- --- ------- -- ----- ----
---- -----." ------- -----
-------

The Encrypted Letter
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
represents
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -

A B C D E F G H I J K L M
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
0 2 0 2 0 6 5 5 3 6 3 5 1

N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
0 0 5 1 0 2 8 3 6 2 1 4 0
Reset
Yesterday's Cryptogram Answer, and Today's Quote of the Day, is:
"Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content." --Helen Keller

ZYY UIF YHXLM SL YHXL HA PBZHAM ZAN ALXLF DAUS SL BUYN CBL DLK



QXXOCLRU FVX FL FNNCWOCMX, YCRYHI UXHA-CLNSHRXLO FWOCMCOI OYFO WKVZKVFOCKLU FLN KOYXV HFVRX KVRFLCPFOCKLU YFTCOSFHHI XLRFRX CL KLHI TXWFSUX OYXI WFLLKO FWOSFHHI QFUOSVTFOX
NFMX TFVVI


Today's Crypto Number (2479) (Wednesday)
JBLNL DSAL S JCAL IBLF JBL NCTH JZ NLASCF JCOBJ CF JBL PRQ IST AZNL USCFERV JBSF JBL NCTH CJ JZZH JZ PVZTTZA.--SFSCT FCF
Hint: J=T

Yesterday's Answer Number(3360) (Tuesday) XP KOO PXCID XP AKFBQXU AKFBQXU QU OXHT QD MTCWKMD BWT IXDB PKBKO BX BCFT WKMMQUTDD.--ZTCBCKUE CFDDTOO Of all forms of caution caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.--Bertrand Russell

Wordles Thought for the Day:
To do great work a man must be very idle as well as very industrious
-Samuel Butler
SLCH WCRCFOQ UFGNCWWGFW FCEJFCV COFQM ELC VCOH SOW ONFOJV ELOE LC SOW QGWJHP LJW NODAQEJCW.
Hint: G = O


PD IRDN NYMR PD QM LMRMBDJT ZRA NYMR PD QM HXBV -- PYXT XT NXTADV. MEQMBP YJQQZBA
Y848YAYYBYY82MFSJMKM2BGM2Z4AVSZM2MSDFM1S5ZBVRV5VQF535ZG6TZQZJZVZ3ZC8T8GWG8Y518YN4MPS8SHM397M2MPMRFUA211M2M2ZGV9ZRZ4ZKZ5ZJV1KTVN35M4Z5R3AQ9ZWT8Z6X8Y3UMH3PS2MRD2MMMKS4M5M2SAM2HJVR3G6BZ5MVZVTHV36665ZJB5Y5M
TO KNOW WHEN TO BE GENEROUS AND WHEN TO BE FIRM -- THIS IS WISDOM. ELBERT HUBBARD



2/17 QGBW VBDAFSW JZMSHSFWFWH FDB FDDBHABE FWE XFSJBE, S TMBHH KZM QZMJE HFK AGFA'H VFTSWT VFXMWH.
Y8H8Y8YYYYY82MFSJMKM24GM2Z4AVSZMVMDDFM1S5ZBVRV5VQF535ZG6TZQZPZVZ3ZC8T7GGG8Y418YN4MPS8SSM297M2MPMRFUM231M2M2ZGV9Z2Z3ZKZ5ZJV1KTVR45M4Z5R3AQ91WQ8Z6X8Y3UMH3PA2MRD2MMMKS4M9M2SAM2HJVR326WZ5MVZVTHV366V5ZJB5Y5M
2/17 WHEN CERTAIN LOUISIANANS ARE ARRESTED AND JAILED, I GUESS YOU WOULD SAY THAT'S CAGING CAJUNS.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 2010

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 2010



Today's Cryptogram

Cryptogram for February 16
Below is today's love quote cryptogram (single letter substitution):
XLIHJN BF RFBMHJ RFPHI DFXZQBN. BFOQWQNI LV LBILIVI FB LV..... JTIIHRR GQYHJ
Answer to yesterday's cryptogram: The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love..... Hubert Humphrey

(Hint: It's an inspirational quote or bit o' wisdom, with the name of the person who is credited as having said it.)
Cryptogram
"JPVJFR CQYULZ FXHY ZMXHWMZR
ZX ZMXRU ZYHZMR ZMJZ VQPP
WQEU FXH LXGTQCUGLU, MXSU,
KXF, PXEU, ZMJGNRWQEQGW, JGC
ZHYG JVJF FXHY IQGC TYXI
ZMXRU ZMJZ QGRSQYU FXH VQZM
TUJY, RJCGURR, CUSYURRQXG."
--AUYZYJGC VQPAUYZTXYLU
My Decoded Version
"------ ------ ---- --------
-- ----- ------ ---- ----
---- --- ----------, ----,
---, ----, ------------, ---
---- ---- ---- ---- ----
----- ---- ------- --- ----
----, -------, ----------."
---------- ------------

The Encrypted Letter
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
represents
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -

A B C D E F G H I J K L M
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
2 0 7 0 3 7 11 7 2 11 1 4 10

N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
1 0 5 12 12 3 4 16 5 4 15 13 17
Reset
Yesterday's Cryptogram Answer, and Today's Quote of the Day, is:
"The a cyclone drives its powers from a calm center. So does a person." --Norman Vincent Peale


U SR YRC XKYC K MHUBYS XQR VEUFBV XQBY U VEUFB, XQR XBBNV XQBY U XBBN, MRH EW VQKSRX UY CQB NRRF AKY SR IBCCBH CQKY CQKC.
ARYMPAUPV



LJ RAB FVK MAEEF NLDN ZADLKUR LE UTK UKKUT, RAB YLMTU FZ OKWW BZK XAUT JKKU.
NKLUT VLDTFVSZ

Today's Crypto Number (3360) (Tuesday)
XP KOO PXCID XP AKFBQXU AKFBQXU QU OXHT QD MTCWKMD BWT IXDB PKBKO BX BCFT WKMMQUTDD.--ZTCBCKUE CFDDTOO
Hint: X=O

Yesterday's Answer Number(997) (Monday) UBZ VPZMVQZ GB.Y. UBZDND ND ITUBNIQ KJU V UMVIDEZMZIOZ TE KTIZD EMTH TIZ QMVPZLVMY UT VITUBZM.--R. EMVIF YTKNZ The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.--J. Frank Dobie


Wordles Thought for the Day:
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
-Winston Churchill
KU GNIXKHC, K ZBKUR TBKIMJNU OBD NFJU CNJKZ GFMXNW FJN RUDOU FW GJHWWNIW WTDHZW.
Hint: Z = T


VQHIGVN GZ YBQVN YGHI DOSGMQBVGO HIOH O BGZC GV HIC QDCOV SCXCS YQPSFV'H DPBC. BQZZ WODFQVOSF (1915-1983)
Y8X8YNYYWYY82MFSJMKM2PGM2Z4AVSZMKM8DFM1S5ZBVRV53QF535ZG6TZQZPZVZ3ZC8TAGAG8Y518YN4MPS8SEM297M2MPMR5US221M2M2ZGV9ZHZ3ZKZ5ZJV1KTVR45M4Z5R3AQ92WY8Z6X8Y3UMH3PA2MRD2MMMAS3M9M2SAM2HJVR3H62Z5MVZVTHV366V5ZJB5Y5M
NOTHING IS WRONG WITH CALIFORNIA THAT A RISE IN THE OCEAN LEVEL WOULDN'T CURE. ROSS MACDONALD (1915-1983)




2/16 ILE OVJTHZ XFHBJ X ELXOLR-RVGL ZXZZXR EKH NLJBNILM JH KVO HRM OTKHHR: "ELRTHZL FXTG, HJJLN."
Y868YQYYUYY82MFSJMKM2EGM2Z4AVSZM2MWDFM1S5ZBVR653QF535ZG6TZQZMZVZ3ZC8T9GZG8Y518YN4MPS8SKM397M2MPMR5UA211M2M2ZGV9ZHZ3ZKZ5ZJV1KTVP45M4Z5R3AQ9ZWT8Z6X8Y3UMH3PS2MRD2MMMAS3M9M2SAM2HJVR3R6HZ5MVZVTHV366V5ZJB5Y5M
2/16 NEW SITCOM ABOUT A WEASEL-LIKE MAMMAL WHO RETURNED TO HIS OLD SCHOOL: 'WELCOME BACK, OTTER.'

2-Fer

2-Fer

1. Memories

One day, long, long ago, there lived a beautiful woman who did not whine, nag or bitch.
But that was a long, long time ago and it was just that one day.

2. Daily Thoughts

A. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

B. Avoid arguments with females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

C. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

D. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.

E. You only need two tools in life -- WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Bonus Thought: Some people are like slinkies -- not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.




ALERT! Search On For Miss Cougar Australia 2010
SYDNEY, Australia -- If you're a male between the ages of 18 and 25, are considered handsome, have six-pack abs AND live in Australia, this might be a good time to head for the Blue Mountains.
Turns out there's a major Cougar alert Downunder from Brisbane to Melbourne, Voyeurwebbers, and these cougars like nothing more than preying on young, healthy men.
Yep, the search is on for Miss Cougar Australia 2010, and the claws will be out. U.S.-based author and relationship guru Rich Gosse is holding three cougar convention heats, in Sydney, Brisbane and Melbourne during February, and each will name regional Miss Cougars.
The event then moves to the Sunshine Coast in June to name Miss Cougar Australia 2010.
Aspiring Miss Cougars must be over 35, "legally single" and have a taste for younger men, said Gosse.
Younger men (or cubs) who are interested in snaring a cougar simply have to turn up and cast their votes.




Sperm Racing by K.
It's a lovely Spring day at Pantsare Down, Voyeurwebbers, and the anticipation is building as the sperm enter the starting gate. They're in. And ... there's the starter's gun and they're off! It's a tight pack as the sperm enter the first turn on their race to the egg.
At the second turn the pack of galloping sperm is still tight.
Wait a second, Voyeurwebbers, a sperm from Team VW is breaking away from the pack cuming .. er ... coming out of the third turn into the final stretch to the finish line and the coveted egg. The gap is widening between the rest of the sperm pack and the leader ... and at the finish line it's -- Eye hopes you're sitting down for this, Voyuerwebbers -- it's the guy with the paunchy middle who sleeps around a lot! Say what?
No kidding, Voyeurwebbers, that's what Australian evolutionary biologist Professor Leigh Simmons and his research team at the University of Western Australia in Crawley, near Perth, discovered while studying how quickly sperm can travel inside the female to reach the egg.
Prof. Simmons' findings, published in Biology Letters, showed that, in the race for the egg, size does not matter and having a paunchy middle and more than average sexual partners are advantages. If you're a mouse. The professor stressed that many animal species on Earth are polygamous, meaning an individual male's sperm has to compete inside the female reproductive tract with sperm from other successful suitors.
Prof. Simmons' team found that sperm from promiscuous mice swam 5 micrometers a second - or 0.00018 km/h - faster than sperm from monogamous males. As tiny as the figure is, it could be the difference in to fertilize or not to fertilize.
"Monogamous sperm have no selection pressure because at least some sperm will get up there [to the female egg] no matter how fast they swim," he said .
Once the researchers established who were the faster swimmers, they set out to find what it was that gave them the edge. "We were interested in whether longer sperm are able to swim faster because they have longer tails," said Prof. Simmons; adding that the research showed that concept was dead wrong -- the length of the tail didn't matter, the size of their mid-section did. The mid-section -- a powerhouse full of mitochondria, or energy organs, fuels the sperm, pushing them harder and faster towards the finish line.
Prof. Simmons said it is the competition between other male sperm that caused this bigger midsection to evolve.
As Eye sees it, Voyeurwebbers, if human sperm actually behave like mice sperm, then it's the beer drinkers who play the field a lot who'll win the race to the egg; not to mention everything that follows from that -- pregnancy, marriage, child/children ... "The complete catastrophe", as author Nikos Kanzatzakis had Zorba, the Greek, describe it. This, in turn, raises an important bio-evolutionary ethical question: Is this a good foundation on which to build a species? K.

1 Quickie, 2 Punnies

1 Quickie, 2 Punnies

1. Grocery Shopping

My wife sent me to the grocery store for organic vegetables, but not wanting to drive to our usual store, I just stopped at the corner market.
They didn't seem to carry organic produce, so I found the manager.
"These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?"
He looked at me and replied, "Nope. You're gonna have to do that yourself!"

2. At The Doctors

The blonde patient was adamant.
"Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans..."
"Whoa. Just a minute," interrupted the doctor. "What makes you think you need all these?"
"Well," said the blonde, "my boss said, if I want to keep my job, I've got to get reorganized!"

3. Public Service Alert

WARNING: If you receive an e-mail from the Department of Health telling you not to eat tinned pork because of swine flu -- ignore it. It's just spam.




Woman Posts Ex-Boyfriend's 'Little Penis' Pics
STOCKHOLM, Sweden -- A young woman in Stockholm, Sweden, has risen to prominence on VW's list of "scorned women stories", Voyeurwebbers.
According to local news reports, when the 24-year-old boyfriend broke off their relationship to date someone else, the 18-year-old woman posted pictures of his "little" penis ... not online, but in public ... on street-light posts ... in his neighborhood ... complete with his name and phone number!
The news reports said the woman also allegedly threw eggs at her ex-boyfriend's car, and posted pictures of her ex-beau's new squeeze with a note calling her a "slut".
The young woman was charged in court with harassment. Police said the woman admitted to them that she knew her activities were illegal.





Oddities by K.
Eye recently came across a couple of odd little news items, Voyeurwebbers, from disparate parts of the planet that have nothing in common except for the oddness of them. They don't quite qualify as weird, yet are still difficult to forget and will linger with you a while.
The first item is from the U.S. state of Wyoming, also proudly known as the Cowboy State. There, a would-be thief in the town of Riverton, provided local authorities with a virtuoso display of alcohol-induced stupidity.
According to Riverton Police reports, a man, whose name was withheld, ran out of a local grocery store after grabbing a bottle of Schnapps. But the man, 26, had forgotten one essential ingredient to any well-planned crime: the escape route.
Police said the man ran out of the store after grabbing the bottle of booze and a package of cough drops and hid in a nearby building. The same building, as it turned out, that housed the Riverton Police. Yep, it was the police station. Police say the man then ran out of the police station, but not before a dispatcher had spied him on the station's surveillance camera and alerted officers.
The man, who police say was drunk, was caught soon after and taken into custody on preliminary charges of resisting arrest and shoplifting.
You have to be pretty drunk to run into a police station to avoid getting caught for shoplifting, Voyeurwebbers.
The second item takes us from the Cowboy State to the island of Britain, to a unique little item about a man who is retiring after running a business helping people permanently retire for 50 years.
He's an undertaker and, after 50 years in the funeral business, he has lifted open the lid on a few of the bizarre -- Britons would probably prefer "eccentric" -- last requests of his clients or their descendants.
Take, for example, the 84-year-old widow who refused to be buried in the joint graveyard plot her husband had bought before his death, and insisted on being buried with her stuffed pet parrot instead.
Another reveals Franjo Jozic, from Zagreb, Croatia, was buried by her family with her coffin lined in banknotes.
Still, some requests can never be fulfilled, the 72-year-old undertaker explained.
"We get quite a few family members who approach us after a funeral and ask us if we can dig up their relatives to recover jewellery. But the strangest was a woman who wanted us to dig up her mother so she could get her artificial hip joint. She said she'd paid for it and she wanted it back," he said.
Definitely odd and, at least for a while, unforgettable, Voyeurwebbers. K.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 2010

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 2010



Today's Cryptogram

Cryptogram for February 15
Below is today's love quote cryptogram (single letter substitution):
ACO FMOYAOHA COYKRUF ACOMYQN RH GMROUZHCRQ YUZ KWDO..... CPVOMA CPBQCMON
Answer to yesterday's cryptogram: One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love..... Sophocles

(Hint: It's an inspirational quote or bit o' wisdom, with the name of the person who is credited as having said it.)
Cryptogram
"XTCCPVGZZ PZ TV TSSPSMJG BQ
OPVJ, LBUV BQ SXG ZPOCDG
JGSGUOPVTSPBV SB LG XTCCA
MVJGU TDD BMSYTUJ
WPUWMOZSTVWGZ." --K. JBVTDJ
YTDSGUZ:
My Decoded Version
"--------- -- -- -------- --
----, ---- -- --- ------
------------- -- -- -----
----- --- -------
-------------." ---. ------
-------:

The Encrypted Letter
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
represents
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -

A B C D E F G H I J K L M
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
1 7 5 5 0 0 10 0 0 7 1 2 4

N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
0 4 8 2 0 10 10 6 9 3 3 2 7
Reset
Yesterday's Cryptogram Answer, and Today's Quote of the Day, is:
"Talk peaceful to be peaceful." --Norman Vincent Peale


KRNBN XT AM TVFTKXKVKN EMB RLBI SMBW
KRMPLT NIXTMA



A SFDI UYAIOPG AO WDIYFBBG KSWGI UYAIOPGSAM A KWHBP OWZ GKFM UWY ZSI UFDWY WU ZSI QAOLG WU ZSI KWYBP
ZSWRFG IPAGWO


Today's Crypto Number (997) (Monday)
UBZ VPZMVQZ GB.Y. UBZDND ND ITUBNIQ KJU V UMVIDEZMZIOZ TE KTIZD EMTH TIZ QMVPZLVMY UT VITUBZM.--R. EMVIF YTKNZ
Hint: U=T

Yesterday's Answer Number(2220) (Sunday) BRKJAJWM JM LIYQ SB KIUFQKV RD JUUQKQOICWJQM.--YIKARC WILB Politics is made up largely of irrelevancies.--Dalton Camp



Wordles Thought for the Day:
When your work speaks for itself, don’t interrupt.
-Henry J. Kaiser
MR QMBRWOJ, PMZS BTPPOBJ MBO MQR RT JOBEO VLOOJO MZC JMUO VBMVSOBJ.
Hint: Q = P

6. Z UQT TZYS JOLWN WQ FMFFOSR HSZL WNS LQZU ZHU AZR KOWSU DQL BOWWSLOHT.
Y868YNYYWYY82MFSCMKM2EGM2Z4MVSZADM9DFM1S5ZPVRV5HQF535ZG6TZQZSZVZ3ZC8TWGXG8Y518YN4MPS1SKM397M2MPMR2UM221M2M2ZG6QZHZ4ZKZ5ZJV1KTVU45M4Z5R3AQ91WY8Z6X8Y3UMH3PS2MRD2MMM2S3MSM2SAM2HJVR3W61Z5MVZVTHV366V5ZJB5Y5M
6. A DOG GAVE BIRTH TO PUPPIES NEAR THE ROAD AND WAS CITED FOR LITTERING.



SH'M BSQJ VO OLQ HV JV HYR SEFVMMSGZR. TUZH JSMQRN
Y8X8Y5YYXYY82MFSCM7M2TGM2Z4MVSZMKM4DFM1S5ZPVRV5ZQF535ZG6TZQZCZVZ3ZC8TQGTG8Y418YN4MPS1SKM297M2MPMR2US221M2M2ZG6QZUZ4ZKZ5ZJV1KTVH45M4Z5R3AQ92WS8Z6X8Y3UMH3PS2MRD2MMM2S3M5M2SAM2HJVR3B6HZ5MVZVTHV366V5ZJB5Y5M
IT'S KIND OF FUN TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE. WALT DISNEY


2/15 ZBJV ZCNHQ XCN MJHH J AGHWDG VBJV BJQ J IVCUX ACU GJMB JDQ GLGUX CDG CA WVI HWLGI? J MJV-C'-DWDG-VJHGI.
Y868Y8YYYYY82MFSCMKM2DGM2Z4MVSZM2MWDFM1S5ZPVRV5UQF535ZG6TZQZPZVZ3ZC8TWGXG8Y418YN4MPS1SJM397M2MPMR2UA211M2M2ZG6QZ2Z3ZKZ5ZJV1KTVR35M4Z5R3AQ91WQ8Z6X8Y3UMH3PS2MRD2MMM2S3M9M2SAM2HJVR3W61Z5MVZVTHV36665ZJB5Y5M
2/15 WHAT WOULD YOU CALL A FELINE THAT HAD A STORY FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF ITS LIVES? A CAT-O'-NINE-TALES.

Week 7, 2010

Cryptograms for the week of...
Feb. 15-22, 2010
Topic: Week 7, 2010

1. D'OY FIBKI NDOYNV:D'OY FIBKI NDOYNV TIXDYIJ TV JZY
KBNES TIS BESYN JZTI JZY AEBK BA ZWGTI QEBBS DI ZWGTI
OYDIV. GC VBWE ZTV LNBKI SYYH EDFY JZY NDOYNV.
-- ETILVJBI ZWLZYV
2. XVZWCJS CD Z OXNJOF PYX BVYBWV MFY OZG'J OYBV MCJF
KXNHD. DYRVJCRVD C PVVW WCLV Z PCHRVGJ YP RS YMG
CRZHCGZJCYG. -- AZGV MZHGVX
3. WDU WDXSRI WF YF HCU: WDU WDXSRI WDHW SUUY YFXSR,
WDHW OFK IUU SUUY WF ZU YFSU, HSY WDHW SF FSU UBIU
IUUVI WF IUU SUUY WF ZU YFSU.-- ZKAQVXSIWUC MKBBUC
4. OFL AXCO QC HDO OFL HLIQEEQEI RM X HLIQEEQEI, XEB
XKK OFXO QC RP FXC HLLE QC HDO OFL OUQKQIFO RM OFL BXUE.
-- F. I. ULKKC
5. VH KS OYWDES CVKG DY CMXVWRW CASDXVAL, VD'G DY
IWNVRWE OWYONW HEYK DXW NVKVDWI FCSG VA FXVMX DXWS
GWW CAI HWWN. -- PVK KYEEVGYA
6. KHLUVLUY AMMH LE MCEN. WHCEGLUY NZTH GZWMQ HZZD
LE MCEN. ATW AMLUY C OGHLEWLCU, WGCW'E C WZTYG OCQQ.
WGCW'E HMAMQQLZU. -- CQLOM OZZBMH
7. C KCQCTJSI YCT SH C YCT UPJ ZTJUH C OSVVOR CGJFV
UPCV'H DJSTD JT. C XFTWVSJTSTD KJOSWR HVCVR TRRIH TJ
KJOSWR. PROO PCVP TJ AJWSXRQJFH XFQN VPCT CT
RTICTDRQRI KCQCHSVR. -- USOOSCY H. GFQQJFDPH
8. WRWCD HMCFLW XCFIQH KW SYEHWC ME MTW IWNM TEKW CAI.
FM'H TOCZ ME XWOM O BWCHEI GTE IWRWC QFRWH AB.
-- XOXW CAMT
9. KVH NIBH ZL RU BMLH ME KZ RDJH TIEMGHEE D ABHDEINH
DGC ABHDEINH RU TIEMGHEE. -- DDNZG TINN
10. DJJ GIAYCPTQ FDSP QPWYPK OPQKHCDKHICQ IN ZFHWF KFP
KYDSPJPY HQ ACDZDYP. JPHQAYP HQ KFP PRAJKDKHIC IN KFP
UIQQHVJP. QIJHKAOP HQ KFP UJDWP IN UAYHNHWDKHIC.
--XDYKHC VAVPY

NEED A CLUE?

# =
1 W = U
2 F = H
3 Z = B
4 U = W
5 O = P
6 O = C
7 D = G
8 A = U
9 T = B
10 V = B

ANSWERS Feb. 15-22, 2010
2010, WEEK 7
1. I've known rivers:
I've known rivers ancient as the world and older than the
flow of human blood in human veins.
My soul has grown deep like the rivers.
-- Langston Hughes
2. Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination. -- Jane Wagner
3. The things to do are: the things that need doing, that you see need to be done, and that no one else seems to see need to be done. -- Buckminster Fuller
4. The past is but the beginning of a beginning, and all that is or has been is but the twilight of the dawn. -- H. G. Wells
5. If my poetry aims to achieve anything, it's to deliver people from the limited ways in which they see and feel. -- Jim Morrison
6. Drinking beer is easy. Trashing your hotel room is easy. But being a Christian, that's a tough call. That's rebellion. -- Alice Cooper
7. A paranoid man is a man who knows a little about what's going on. A functioning police state needs no police. Hell hath no vociferous fury than an endangered parasite. -- William S. Burroughs
8. Every strike brings me closer to the next home run. It's hard to beat a person who never gives up. -- Babe Ruth
9. The rule of my life is to make business a pleasure and pleasure my business. -- Aaron Burr
10. All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware. Leisure is the exultation of the possible. Solitude is the place of purification.--Martin Buber

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2010

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2010



Today's Cryptogram

Cryptogram for February 13
Below is today's love quote cryptogram (single letter substitution):
P OSPKAN VZ P TGYPI NGK IGAVQS; P QMPHYSH VZ GIS TMG IGAVQSZ NGK..... PECPV ZASDSIZGI
Answer to yesterday's cryptogram: For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks.....Rainer Maria Rilke

(Hint: It's an inspirational quote or bit o' wisdom, with the name of the person who is credited as having said it.)
Cryptogram
"NDO PSSLSDUX SNKPOU YLWX
UXSXORLZXI YLWX'I PSSLSDUX
SNKPOUI DI." --XPOY
ZLHESLZHPYX
My Decoded Version
"--- -------- ------ ----
---------- ----'- --------
------- --." ------
-----------

The Encrypted Letter
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
represents
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -

A B C D E F G H I J K L M
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
0 0 0 4 1 0 0 2 4 0 2 7 0

N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
3 5 6 0 1 10 0 5 0 2 9 4 3
Reset
Yesterday's Cryptogram Answer, and Today's Quote of the Day, is:
"Always direct your thoughts to those truths that will give you confidence, hope, joy, love, thanksgiving, and turn away your mind from those that inspire you with fear, sadness, depression." --Bertrand Wilbertforce

CNWSW LSW VMEW CNBPDV ZNBAN ALPPMC OW YWLSPWF GIBAUYT, LPF CBEW, ZNBAN BV LYY ZW NLQW, EIVC OW RLBF NWLQBYT KMS CNWBS LAGIBSBPD. CNWT LSW CNW QWST VBERYWVC CNBPDV LPF OWALIVW BC CLUWV L ELP'V YBKW CM UPMZ CNWE CNW YBCCYW PWZ CNLC WLAN ELP DWCV KSME YBKW BV QWST AMVCYT LPF CNW MPYT NWSBCLDW NW NLV CM YWLQW
WSPWVC NWEBPDZLT


VE VZ IRXRH QPBA EQ EWHQN BNBA XRERHBI DIJRHNRBH. B HRBF CDA TWRTPZ EWR CBHYBCR HRCDFBHFA VI TBZR ZQORYQJA - BIJ NR BHR IQE IBOVIC IBORZ YDE EWVZ NQDFJ YR WVZ NVGR - VZ UDVREFA EHAVIC EQ JVZTBHJ WVZ DIJRHNRBH, NWVTW ZWR VZ GHBIPFA LRBFQDZ QG, YRTBDZR EWR CDA ZRROZ EQ WBXR B OQHR VIEVOBER HRFBEVQIZWVK NVEW VE EWBI NVEW WRH
JBXR YBHHA


SXIFL XZH BLQ VLESQ VEJSH SXIFLY VRBL TEI, YZEJQ XZH TEI YSQQM XSEZQ. IZGZEVZ (JROLXJH XGX HEVZ IZHQJ)
Y8P8YWYYMYY82MFSJMKM21GM2Z4MVAJMMMPDFM1S5ZBVR65QQF535ZG6TZQZUZVZ3ZC8TEG6G8Y518YN4MPS8SDM297M2MPMR4US221M2M2ZGV9ZTZ3ZKZ5ZJVQKTVW45M4Z5R3AQ91WG8Z6X8Y3UMH3PM2MRD2MMMFS3M5M2SAM2HJVR3P62Z5MVZVTHV466V5ZJB5Y5M
LAUGH AND THE WHOLE WORLD LAUGHS WITH YOU, SNORE AND YOU SLEEP ALONE. UNKNOWN (RICHARD AKA DOWN UNDER)



2/13 FNOGC MNO KIM WUFPUNBIG FAIDIFPSDK KOFA IK HUGHN IBC WDNCN HIYYUBK IDS FDSIPODSK NW ANHHUP?
Y8B8Y7YYNYY82MFSJM7M2FGM2Z4MVAJMHMHDFM1S5ZBVRV5WQF535ZG6TZQZUZVZ3ZC8T4G7G8Y418YN4MPS8S2M197M2MPMR4US221M2M2ZGV9ZUZ5ZKZ5ZJVQKTVW45M4Z5R3AQ9ZWH8Z6X8Y3UMH3PA2MRD2MMMFS3M5M2SAM2HJVR3U6RZ5MVZVTHV466V5ZJB5Y5M
2/13 COULD YOU SAY FICTIONAL CHARACTERS SUCH AS BILBO AND FRODO BAGGINS ARE CREATURES OF HOBBIT?

"One, two, Freddy's coming for you.
Three, four, better lock your door.
Five, six, grab your crucifix.
Seven, eight, gonna stay up late.
Nine, ten, never sleep again.
One, two Freddy's coming for you
three, four better lock your door
five, six grab your crucifix
seven, eight gonna stay up late
nine, ten he's back again."


Today's Crypto Number (4220) (Saturday)
O UCX BOX CX CJLAVPXY ZX CXE YZSOU, CLCOXWY CXE ZSSZXPXY. SPZSGP RXZB YFOW, CXK WYPPJ UGPCJ ZI VP CY SCJYOPW. ZIYPX, CW C WOLX ZI YFPOJ LJPCY JPWSPUY, YFPE KZX'Y PMPX OXMOYP VP.--KCMP TCJJE
Hint: O=I

Yesterday's Answer Number(3910) (Friday) FMMCD ZGN FXQ OZDQN BZBNG XEHNDD ON DBNEP VE ZIQVME QYN OVDPML ON ANQ RGML QYMXAYQ - ZDHNNB. OYNE ON ZGN ONZGW MR QYN HVJVEA, ON LZW GNBZVG QM QYN PNZP, OYM YZJN EMQYVEA MR BNNJVDYENDD, BGVPN, MG PNDVAE VE QYNVG IMEJNGDZQVME.--OVHHVZL FXQHNG WNZQD Books are but waste paper unless we spend in action the wisdom we get from thought - asleep. When we are weary of the living, we may repair to the dead, who have nothing of peevishness, pride, or design in their conversation.--William Butler Yeats



Wordles Thought for the Day:
God must love the rich or he wouldn't divide so much among so few of them.
-H L Mencken
A KZKWIAYKG ITCXWTN QFANK A YFTEEKG, VJX AX QMY XWJNU M CKMW-GKVX KZEKWAKCIK.
Hint: J = U

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2010

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2010



Today's Cryptogram

Cryptogram for February 14
Below is today's love quote cryptogram (single letter substitution):
VCH OVTF LTHHA MA VL KSS XQH OHWZQX KCF DKWC VL SWLH: XQKX OVTF WA SVNH..... AVDQVGSHA
Answer to yesterday's cryptogram: A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you..... Adlai Stevenson

(Hint: It's an inspirational quote or bit o' wisdom, with the name of the person who is credited as having said it.)
Cryptogram
"QPJQUB BCWNXMQ TH TE
YEQOYBTXMQ JTCB WL MYLQ TER
GVQE YB UWZQH, VWMR KWNC
VQTR VYFV, MWWA YB HDNTCQMK
YE BVQ QKQ TER HTK, 'Y GYMM
XQ XYFFQC BVTE KWN. KWN
UTEEWB RQLQTB ZQ.' " --TEE
MTERQCH
My Decoded Version
"------ ------- -- --
---------- ---- -- ---- ---
---- -- -----, ---- ----
---- ----, ---- -- --------
-- --- --- --- ---, '- ----
-- ------ ---- ---. ---
------ ------ --.' " -----
-------

The Encrypted Letter
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
represents
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -

A B C D E F G H I J K L M
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
1 10 6 1 12 3 2 5 0 2 6 3 9

N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
5 1 1 19 6 0 14 3 7 10 4 10 2
Reset
Yesterday's Cryptogram Answer, and Today's Quote of the Day, is:
"Dwell as near as possible to the channel in which your life flows." --Henry David Thoreau


GWAGQW IQWWG GWHRWHPQD FV ESWFT PWLI HE VFJSE AVQD PWRHYIW TAYJS UWV IEHVL TWHLD EA LA ZFAQWVRW AV ESWFT PWSHQX.
JWATJW ATCWQQ



ATNSRTB Z FNLT IZA AQB Z GBZMT IZA HNTL KQFA QA SRT SBZOYL QD RNLSQBW SQ FZNS DQB SRT SBZNA QD SRT DESEBT SQ BEA QMTB RNI
KFNPRS TNLTARQFTB


A EQI'X UMBJ TQBJH. A TSHX KMXVR XRJ LQZJCIUJIX MIE CJDQCX XRJ YMVXH. KAGG CQLJCH
Y8M8Y9YYPYY82MFSJMKM2KGM2Z4MVAJMKMMDFM1S5ZBVRV5NQF535ZG6TZQZBZVZ3ZC8THG6G8Y418YN4MPS8SVM397M2MPMR3US221M2M2ZGV9Z2Z4ZKZ5ZJVQKTVG45M4Z5R3AQ91WG8Z6X8Y3UMH3PM2MRD2MMMES3M5M2SAM2HJVR3Q6QZ5MVZVTHV466V5ZJB5Y5M
I DON'T MAKE JOKES. I JUST WATCH THE GOVERNMENT AND REPORT THE FACTS. WILL ROGERS



2/14 GUDXBT IWFO WXID UAXBQ U GIZXKE OXDDFQQIH AE UK XZH TUFZXM: "OMFDI XG QLI UKOFIKQ DUMFKIM."
Y898Y8YYYYY82MFSJMKM26GM2Z4MVAJMUMRDFM1S5ZBVRV58QF535ZG6TZQZCZVZ3ZC8T2GVG8Y418YN4MPS8SCM297M2MPMR3UM221M2M2ZGV9Z4Z2ZKZ5ZJVQKTVH35M4Z5R3AQ9ZWQ8Z6X8Y3UMH3PS2MRD2MMMES3M5M2SAM2HJVR316BZ5MVZVTHV46665ZJB5Y5M
2/14 FAMOUS EPIC POEM ABOUT A FELONY COMMITTED BY AN OLD SAILOR: 'CRIME OF THE ANCIENT MARINER.'


Today's Crypto Number (2220) (Sunday)
BRKJAJWM JM LIYQ SB KIUFQKV RD JUUQKQOICWJQM.--YIKARC WILB
Hint: B=P

Yesterday's Answer Number(4220) (Saturday) O UCX BOX CX CJLAVPXY ZX CXE YZSOU, CLCOXWY CXE ZSSZXPXY. SPZSGP RXZB YFOW, CXK WYPPJ UGPCJ ZI VP CY SCJYOPW. ZIYPX, CW C WOLX ZI YFPOJ LJPCY JPWSPUY, YFPE KZX'Y PMPX OXMOYP VP.--KCMP TCJJE I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.--Dave Barry



Wordles Thought for the Day:
Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instruction.
-Anne Sullivan
QINA JIN VSB ITR JXSFVCN MNJJKAM SZZ IKL ISXLN TJ XKRKAM LYISSC, JIN SJINX YIKCRXNA RNXKRNR IKG.
Hint: J = T


Here are the answers to the last week of CryptoQuips sent in the Thought for the Day Daily email:

2/13/2010 :
I exercised control while I shopped, but it was truly a near-debt experience.

2/12/2010 :
If English class should follow algebra, could one possibly call it the aftermath?

2/11/2010 :
When a person plans to supervise a trip to Europe, will he oversea it?

2/10/2010 :
Not about to waste more margarine, I swore I would hang on until the butter end.

2/9/2010 :
The monarch makes up so many untrue tales, people are calling him the lyin' king.

2/8/2010 :
I know of a demolition company that happily refers to itself as "Edifice wrecks."

2/7/2010 :
If the old prospector is fortunate, I guess he could find himself a plot of gold.

Humor Threesome

Humor Threesome

1. Bon Apetit

"Excuse me, waiter, but your finger is in my soup!"
"Yes," replied the server, "I have a fungus under my nail and my doctor told me to keep it warm and moist."
The irate customer snapped, "Then why don't you just stick it up your ass?"
The waiter immediately replied, "Oh, that's what I do when I'm in the kitchen!"

2. Rock'n Roll Heaven

Jerry Garcia awoke in an all-white recording studio, surrounded by instruments.
Jimi Hendrix and Duane Allman were tuning their guitars. John Lennon was seated at the piano.
Janis Joplin and Buddy Holly were warming up.
As he plugged into his amp, an awestruck Garcia murmured, "Wow! There really is a rock 'n' roll heaven!"
Elvis Presley said to him, "Heaven?" just as Karen Carpenter sat down at the drums and said, "Okay, people. 'Close To You' in E-flat. One, two, one, two..."

3. Good News/Bad News

Doctor: "I have good news and bad news, Liz."
Liz: "What's the good news, Doc?"
Doc: "Your lab tests came back today and your crabs are gone."
Liz: "Gee, that's great! But what's the bad news?"
Doctor: "We don't know what killed them!"





Cambridge Co-eds Asked To Quell Passion ... Why?
CAMBRIDGE, England -- If you've got a post-graduate degree, Voyeurwebbers, you might want to consider "tuning up" your education by obtaining a fellowship grant to study at England's Cambridge University. I only mention this because things in the ivy-covered halls have changed considerably in the past decade or so and university life has become much more fun ... er ... I mean, much more geared to the serious student.Here's why:
All 400 undergraduate students at historic Cambridge University's all-women Newham College have been asked to tone down their love life. The young women were sent a polite e-mail asking the to be more "discreet" when in the throes of passion after Newham College's student union received 30 complaints about the noise.
Newnham College undergraduate president Lizzy Cole sent the message asking them to quell their passion so others could get a good night's sleep.
Miss Cole, 19, who was on last year's Cambridge University Challenge team, said that while Newnham had a reputation for being "slutty" the e-mail did not just refer to sex.
Boyfriends are allowed to stay in student rooms at the 139-year-old college for two days before they have to register for a spare room.
One Newnham undergraduate, 20, said: "It's just so embarrassing to think that people have been listening in. I was blushing when I got the email.
"You try to keep it down, but it's easy to forget the walls are so thin if you get a bit carried away. This sort of thing must happen at every university in the country. Only in Cambridge would your fellow students complain. They'll be handing out ear plugs next."




Rear of the Year by K.
There is an annual event in Britain, Voyeurwebbers, that not only reflects Britons' eccentric sense of humor, but the national pride they take in their expertise at identifying a really great rear end on a woman. The event is called the "Rear of the Year", with various categories, so naturally Eye likes to keep a close watch on the event.
The nominations for this year's Rear of the Year awards have barely begun -- the winners will be announced in June at a gala ceremony at London's Dorchester Hotel -- and a buzz is brewing about an unexpected nominee who is rising up the list in on-line nomination polls. Eye should mention that the Rear of the Year top award goes to the British woman deemed to have the best-looking rear in a tight pair of jeans, which may explain why Wizard Jeans is hosting this year's event.
The reason for the buzz is Harriet Harman who, at first glance, seems an odd nominee. For one thing, Ms. Harmon is an MP (Member of Parliament) representing the Camberwell and Peckham district, and is also a leader of the House of Commons, and Minister for Women in the British cabinet.
She is known for her staunch feminist views, wants pictures of the scantily clad young women known as Page 3 girls banned from the workplace, wants the term "chairman" banned as being sexist -- and has been nominated for the annual Rear of the Year award. No one seems to know for sure if the nominations were from admirers of Ms. Harman's derrier, or merely tongue-in-cheek ... pun intended.
Nonetheless, earlier this week Ms. Harman had already received 12 nominations, according to Rear of the Year organizer Tony Edwards.
"These are not large numbers but a dozen nominations in one week usually indicates encouragement on a fan-based website or an organized group effort of some kind," Edwards told local news media.
"During the past month we've received flurries of votes inspired by celebrities on Strictly Come Dancing, Celebrity Dancing on Ice and various TV soaps, but we're surprised to see the MP for Camberwell and Peckham among the latest nominations," said Edwards, then rattled off a couple of double entendres that Eye liked.
One: "Perhaps some of Labour's (Britain's Labour Party) backbenchers have decided to get behind her in the competition."
Two: "These are early days with a further four months of voting to go so it would be premature to talk about a winner from the world of politics or whether Ms Harman's seat is set for the spotlight."
So there you have it, Voyeurwebbers. The Rear of the Year contest just got underway and already the drama, tension, and anticipation of seeing some British women with great rear ends are building. Will Harriet Hartman have the best bum in Britain, or will that hot, sexy young newcomer Lady Gaga wiggle away with the top prize for the best bottom?
Rest assured, Voyeurwebbers, Eye will keep a close watch on British women's rear ends -- and those of whole lot of women in other countries -- between now and June. It's easy. You can do it, too. All you have to do is browse through any or all of VW's sections. It's a good thing the Rear of the Year contest isn't until June, Eye can almost get a tenth of the way through VW's archive, Funbags, by then. K.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2010

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2010



Today's Cryptogram

Cryptogram for February 12
Below is today's love quote cryptogram (single letter substitution):
VKJ KQY FRSHQ UYCQA NK PKGY HQKNFYJ: NFHN CM LYJFHLM NFY SKMN ICVVCBRPN KV KRJ NHMEM.....JHCQYJ SHJCH JCPEY
Answer to yesterday's cryptogram: He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much..... Bessie Stanle

(Hint: It's an inspirational quote or bit o' wisdom, with the name of the person who is credited as having said it.)
Cryptogram
"MNGQOQJO. GTU CMLGXQAU MX
DUIQUK GTFG UHUXEGTQAB QJ
DUFYGQKYI, QALIYCQAB VTFG QJ
YBIE." -FODXMJU DQUXLU
My Decoded Version
"--------. --- -------- --
------ ---- ---------- --
---------, --------- ---- --
----." -------- ------

The Encrypted Letter
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
represents
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -

A B C D E F G H I J K L M
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
4 3 2 4 2 4 8 1 4 4 2 3 4

N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
1 3 0 11 0 0 4 10 1 0 5 4 0
Reset
Yesterday's Cryptogram Answer, and Today's Quote of the Day, is:
"Happiness is an attitude of mind, born of the simple determination to be happy under all outward circumstances." --J. Donald Walters


FLRN HN JEN ALWNCJQ JK MSKZ, JK PJJNC, GSV JK GCFPN UCNNAQ GYYKCVLSF JK YKSBYLNSYN, GWKRN GAA ALWNCJLNB.
TKES HLAJKS



OS QSOAA DTFWOLQ SDMT SVWS LU PMQSOZORWSOUL UZ HODSMT YOAA TLWXAT W FWL SU XT HODSMUMQ.
R.Q. ATYOQ

UV YPDV GR JVRJZV RY HRMO NIH MJ UVDIMTV HRM'ZZ YVVK GAVW RY HRMO NIH KRNY. N. WPQYVO
Y848Y5YYXYY82MFSJM7M2GGM2Z4SVAJMVMSDFM1S5ZBVRV5FQF535ZG6TZQZNZVZ3ZC8X8G1G8Y418YN4MPS8SAM297M2MPMRUUM221M2M2ZGV9ZUZ4ZKZ5ZJVQKTV135M4Z5R3AQ9ZWS8Z6X8Y3UMH3PS2MRD2MMMWS4M5M2SAM2HJVR3G62Z5MVZVTHV466V5ZJB5Y5M
BE NICE TO PEOPLE ON YOUR WAY UP BECAUSE YOU'LL NEED THEM ON YOUR WAY DOWN. W. MIGNER


2/12 PO EJJ RO QUG MGRMJG PC E CEQPRC ZGIPC QR ISRRT QUGTNGJKGN, PN QUEQ QUG ZSLNUPC' SGKRJLQPRC?
Y8H8YWYY3YY82MFSJMKM27GM2Z4SVAJMRMUDFM1S5ZBVR65UQF535ZG6TZQZMZVZ3ZC8X7GMG8Y418YN4MPS8S6M197M2MPMRUUS221M2M2ZGV9Z3Z2ZKZ5ZJVQKTVP45M4Z5R3AQ91W68Z6X8Y3UMH3PA2MRD2MMMWS4M5M2SAM2HJVR326UZ5MVZVTHV466V5ZJB5Y5M
2/12 IF ALL OF THE PEOPLE IN A NATION BEGIN TO GROOM THEMSELVES, IS THAT THE BRUSHIN' REVOLUTION?


Today's Crypto Number (3910) (Friday)
FMMCD ZGN FXQ OZDQN BZBNG XEHNDD ON DBNEP VE ZIQVME QYN OVDPML ON ANQ RGML QYMXAYQ - ZDHNNB. OYNE ON ZGN ONZGW MR QYN HVJVEA, ON LZW GNBZVG QM QYN PNZP, OYM YZJN EMQYVEA MR BNNJVDYENDD, BGVPN, MG PNDVAE VE QYNVG IMEJNGDZQVME.--OVHHVZL FXQHNG WNZQD
Hint: F=B

Yesterday's Answer Number(2215) (Thursday) RFH BHZBSH YFZ CVH VHNCVQHQ CW UZVCS STUJPCVJHW CVH RFZWH YFZ EZVHNZ ZVQJPCVD BSHCWTVHW RFHUWHSIHW CPQ EJPQ MZUBHPWCRJZP JP JPRHVEHVJPN YJRF RFH BSHCWTVHW ZE ZRFHVW.--LHVRVCPQ VTWWHSS The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others.--Bertrand Russell


Wordles Thought for the Day:
It's all very well in practice, but it will never work in theory.
-French Management saying
QR XZOIQML FITMM MLNEIA RNIINV TIOXKCT, FNEIA NZX YNMMQKIJ FTII QD DLX TRDXCHTDL?
Hint: D = T

A (Joke) Threesome

A (Joke) Threesome

1. Man Talk

Three Catholic men were talking.
The first said, "My son is a priest; when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second man piped in, "My son is a bishop; when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Your Grace'."
The third man smiled. "My daughter is 6-feet tall with 38D breasts, a 24-inch waist, and 34-inch hips. When she walks into a room, everyone says, 'Oh, my God!' "

2. More Bumper Stickers

1. The Proctologist called ... They found your head!

2. Save your breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date.

3. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.


3. Little Johnny Joke No. 1,497
One day, little Johnny got home from pre-school early and headed upstairs. As he walked by his parents' bedroom, he was surprised to see his parents naked on their bed, making love. Not wanting to traumatize the child, they continued what they were doing. Soon Johnny asked, "Daddy, can I climb on your back for a horsey ride?"
Dad thought a moment and replied, "I suppose so, son. After all, we are a family."
After he rode a while, his mother started writhing wildly.
"Hang on, Dad!" cried Johnny. "This is always where the mailman and I get bucked off!"




Strip Club Raises Money For Haiti
TOLEDO, Ohio, USA -- A strip club in Toledo, Ohio, has raised money to help the people of Haiti, Voyeurwebbers,
The club, Marilyn's on Monroe, raised almost $1,000 for victims of the earthquake that devastated Haiti by hosting a charity fund-raising event called "Lap Dances for Haiti". The club donated all of its $10 cover charges for one day to the International Services of Hope charity.
According to local news media, the name of the event was misleading because strip clubs are legal in Ohio but lap-dances are not.
Club manager Kenny Soprano said he had been considering a charity event to improve the club's reputation even before the Haiti earthquake. "We'd been racking our brains for about a month or so, thinking about what we could do," he said. "You don't hear much about strip clubs giving back to the community.
"It was pretty hard to find an organization that wants to deal with an adult entertainment establishment," said Soprano.
Linda Greene, CEO of International Services of Hope, said she was happy to accept the donation: "I don't have a problem with it," she said.




Weirdness by K.
The weirdest thing recently happened in the U.S. state of New Jersey, Voyeurwebbers; it even had allusions, or possibly illusions, to the movie "The Godfather", which would seem to be a fit in New Jersey ... and yet it doesn't fit at all.
Here's what happened: Robert Godman, 61, of Wenonah, New Jersey, apparently had a package delivered to a state senator named Stephen Sweeney. Sen. Sweeny was acting governor while Gov. Jon Corzine was on vacation. When staffers opened the package the were alarmed to find -- Eye hope's you're sitting down for this, Voyeurwebbers -- (Cue the organist!).... a plush toy horse's head!
Despite their shock, the staffers had the presence of mind to call in a bomb squad as a precaution.
According to one news report the incident appeared a likely allusion to the classic cinematic scene in "The Godfather," in which a horse's head was used as a death threat by the Mafia.
In the end, the plush toy horse's head was found to be ... a ... er ... umm ... plush toy horse's head.
Nonetheless, Mr. Godman was arrested at the home he shares with his parents and charged with harassment. New Jersey State Police said they were looking into whether Godman and the package are related to a recent series of letters and faxes.
"We take every interaction with our government officials seriously, at least of this nature," said a state police sergeant. "This was not just some benign communication."
Eye warned you this would be weird, Voyeurwebbers. And it leaves some interesting questions, for instance: If delivering a real, severed horse's head is considered a Mafia death threat, what does a plush toy horse's head mean in "Mafia-ese"? Is the mob going to put out a "cuddle" on you instead of a hit? And what did the state police sergeant mean when he said, "... at least of this nature"? It makes Eye wonder if New Jersey is being hit by a deluge of packages delivered with plush-toy animal parts. Actually, that does sound a little creepy.
As Eye sees it, Voyeurwebbers, it could be possible, though not probable, that Mr. Godman sent the wrong part of the plush toy horse to the good senator. He might have meant to send the plush toy horse's plush patootie instead. That way the message would be clear ... and no official in his or her right mind -- with the possible exception of New Jersey -- would want to launch a costly investigation into a plush toy horse's plush patootie, so that problem would be moot and tax dollars saved. K.

Even 2 More Quickies

Even 2 More Quickies

1. At The Car Dealership

A lady walked into a Lexus dealership just to browse. Suddenly she spotted the most beautiful car that she had ever seen and walked over to inspect it. As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little fart escaped.
Embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed and hoped a salesperson hadn't been near. But, as she turned back, there, standing next to her, was a salesman.
With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"
Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiled back and asked, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that, if you farted simply from touching it, you are going to shit when you hear the price."

2. Why Men Have Better Friends

Women's Friends: A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The husband called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew what she was talking about.

Men's Friends: A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.
The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed he was still there.




Embedded Text Messages Ruin Relationship
WINNIPEG, Manitoba, Canada -- Maintaining a relationship can be difficult enough at times, Voyeurwebbers, but technology may now be making it even more difficult. Consider the case of a 49-year-old man in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, who recently bought a new Samsung Virgin Mobil phone.
Suggestive text messages embedded in a new cellphone cost the man his relationship when his girlfriend discovered them, said officials. The man, who didn't want to be identified, told the Winnipeg journalists his girlfriend of more than two years found the messages on the phone and a break-up fight ensued.
He said he didn't even know the Samsung Virgin Mobile phone was text-equipped, but the three messages that came with the phone cost him the relationship. They included "Booty call," "Where u at," and "Be there soon," according to news reports.
He said Virgin Mobile advised him to file a written complaint.
The man also showed the messages to staff at the Future Shop store where he bought the cellphone.
"At first, we didn't believe him," said a sales associate. "But when we looked at a couple of the same [model] phones he bought, and found they all had the same messages ... we all felt horrible."




Strip Clubs by K.
While freedom of expression and freedom of choice won a victory last week in the U.S. state of Maryland's Montgomery County, Voyeurwebbers, a few states southwest of Maryland efforts are being made to do just the opposite.
In Jefferson City, Missouri, members of the state Senate gave preliminary approval of legislation that may change the "show me" state, into the "don't show me" state.
The legislation would placing far-reaching restrictions on adult-entertainment businesses in Missouri, and may continue on a legislative fast track due to a federal investigation.
State Sen. Matt Bartle presented the bill on the Senate floor just two days after he appeared before a federal grand jury in Kansas City, Missouri, to answer questions about the defeat of a nearly identical bill in 2005.
To become law, legislation approved Thursday must be voted on once more in the Senate, passed through the state House and ultimately signed by the governor. But if successful, it would represent a sea change for adult-oriented businesses.
Among the legislation's provisions: Nudity would be banned in strip clubs. Semi-nude dancers would have to stay at least six feet away from and not touch patrons. Adult businesses would have to close between midnight and 6 a.m. and could not sell alcohol. Adult businesses could not be opened within 1,000 feet of a school, church, day-care facility, library, park, residence or another adult business.
If upheld in court, the law probably would shut down strip clubs and adult bookstores, said attorney Dick Bryant, who represents about a dozen adult entertainment businesses in the Kansas City area.
As Eye sees it, Voyeurwebbers, banning nudity in strip clubs violates the constitutional right to freedom of expression for the dancers, and violates freedom of choice for both the dancers and the club's customers, as does the proposed ban on selling alcohol in adult entertainment establishments. Eye also thinks the Missouri state legislature has more important issues to deal with these days than putting the employees of 12 local businesses out of work. K.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2010

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2010

　

　

Today's Cryptogram

Cryptogram for February 11 Below is today's love quote cryptogram (single letter substitution): ZY ZHV HJZRYGYL VKJJYVV QZU ZHV NRGYL QYNN, NHKWZYL UBFYP, HPL NUGYL CKJZ.....TYVVRY VFHPNYS Answer to yesterday's cryptogram: Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first..... Billy Sunday

　

(Hint: It's an inspirational quote or bit o' wisdom, with the name of the person who is credited as having said it.)

Cryptogram

"XJZV CAXRY OAX PGMY CX EGLZ
FMYGCZV QGJ YBYM GQALYBY
FMYGCZV." --MXNYMC E.
IYJJYPV

My Decoded Version

"---- ----- --- ---- -- ----
------- --- ---- -------
-------." -------- -.
-------

The Encrypted Letter
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
represents
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -

A	B	C	D	E	F	G	H	I	J	K	L	M
-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-
3	2	5	0	2	2	6	0	1	4	0	2	6
N	O	P	Q	R	S	T	U	V	W	X	Y	Z
-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-
1	1	2	2	1	0	0	0	4	0	5	11	4

Reset

Yesterday's Cryptogram Answer, and Today's Quote of the Day, is:

"Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and when it comes, hold your head high, look it squarely in the eye and say, "I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me." --Ann Landers

R XYK'B WRFP BY GJQAP CL MPAGYKQW WRTP...RB VYNWXK'B DP MPAGYKQW RT R GJQAPX RB

ZPYAZP HWYYKPL

　

　

GFBK OV JDK CKGOTDJQAG OHJKSBYG EKJNKKH IKKJOHT Y EKYAJOQAG TOSG YHC COVUFBKSOHT JDYJ VDK GFFLV GOLK Y DYCCFUL

XFDH EYSSZIFSK

　

　

O SYDA NFP KLA ZYHC NU BSOTS HU MAAP YWA IFORAR, YLR PSYP OX PSA ZYHC KM AECAWOALTA. O QLKB LK BYU KM VFRIOLI PSA MFPFWA NFP NU PSA CYXP. FLQLKBL

Y8X8YHYYNYY82MFSJMKM23GM2Z4SVAJMMMHDFM1S5ZBVRV5CQF535ZG6TZQZUZVZ3ZC8XAGEG8Y418YN4MPS8S2M197M2MPMRQUS231M2M2ZGV9Z2Z3ZKZ5ZJVQKTVW45M4Z5R3AQ92W78Z6X8Y3UMH3PA2MRD2MMM3S3MPM2SAM2HJVR3H61Z5MVZVTHV466V5ZJB5Y5M

I HAVE BUT ONE LAMP BY WHICH MY FEET ARE GUIDED, AND THAT IS THE LAMP OF EXPERIENCE. I KNOW NO WAY OF JUDGING THE FUTURE BUT BY THE PAST. UNKNOWN

　

2/11 ZX GXQ HKYAE HKS ZSLXRTJHYR ZXAESG JAZ TSVQIBYRJA SBSVKJAH RXQBZ IS RXACYZSTSZ VJTHG JAYLJBC?

Y868YHYYBYY82MFSJMKM2NGM2Z4SVAJMRMPDFM1S5ZBVRV5UQF535ZG6TZQZBZVZ3ZC8X9G4G8Y518YN4MPS8SRM397M2MPMRQUS231M2M2ZGV9Z3Z4ZKZ5ZJVQKTVG35M4Z5R3AQ9ZWM8Z6X8Y3UMH3PS2MRD2MMM3S3MPM2SAM2HJVR3R6UZ5MVZVTHV46665ZJB5Y5M

2/11 DO YOU THINK THE DEMOCRATIC DONKEY AND REPUBLICAN ELEPHANT COULD BE CONSIDERED PARTY ANIMALS?

　

Today's Crypto Number (2215) (Thursday)
RFH BHZBSH YFZ CVH VHNCVQHQ CW UZVCS STUJPCVJHW CVH RFZWH YFZ EZVHNZ ZVQJPCVD BSHCWTVHW RFHUWHSIHW CPQ EJPQ MZUBHPWCRJZP JP JPRHVEHVJPN YJRF RFH BSHCWTVHW ZE ZRFHVW.--LHVRVCPQ VTWWHSS
Hint: R=T

　

Yesterday's Answer Number(390) (Wednesday) BTLI TE AMWF Y GYH ZFYZ HNM GNMBR ENZ CI YAFYUIR ZN AIBB HNMK DYKKNZ ZN ZFI ZNGE VNAATD.--GTBB KNVIKA Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.--Will Rogers

　

　

Wordles Thought for the Day:

The man who has no inner life is a slave to his surroundings.
-henriFrederic Amiel

SPGW E HGFVJW HYEWV ZJ VQHGFICVG E ZFCH ZJ GQFJHG, SCYY PG JIGFVGE CZ?
Hint: G = E