2-Fer

2-Fer

1. Memories

One day, long, long ago, there lived a beautiful woman who did not whine, nag or bitch.
But that was a long, long time ago and it was just that one day.

2. Daily Thoughts

A. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

B. Avoid arguments with females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

C. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

D. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.

E. You only need two tools in life -- WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Bonus Thought: Some people are like slinkies -- not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.




ALERT! Search On For Miss Cougar Australia 2010
SYDNEY, Australia -- If you're a male between the ages of 18 and 25, are considered handsome, have six-pack abs AND live in Australia, this might be a good time to head for the Blue Mountains.
Turns out there's a major Cougar alert Downunder from Brisbane to Melbourne, Voyeurwebbers, and these cougars like nothing more than preying on young, healthy men.
Yep, the search is on for Miss Cougar Australia 2010, and the claws will be out. U.S.-based author and relationship guru Rich Gosse is holding three cougar convention heats, in Sydney, Brisbane and Melbourne during February, and each will name regional Miss Cougars.
The event then moves to the Sunshine Coast in June to name Miss Cougar Australia 2010.
Aspiring Miss Cougars must be over 35, "legally single" and have a taste for younger men, said Gosse.
Younger men (or cubs) who are interested in snaring a cougar simply have to turn up and cast their votes.




Sperm Racing by K.
It's a lovely Spring day at Pantsare Down, Voyeurwebbers, and the anticipation is building as the sperm enter the starting gate. They're in. And ... there's the starter's gun and they're off! It's a tight pack as the sperm enter the first turn on their race to the egg.
At the second turn the pack of galloping sperm is still tight.
Wait a second, Voyeurwebbers, a sperm from Team VW is breaking away from the pack cuming .. er ... coming out of the third turn into the final stretch to the finish line and the coveted egg. The gap is widening between the rest of the sperm pack and the leader ... and at the finish line it's -- Eye hopes you're sitting down for this, Voyuerwebbers -- it's the guy with the paunchy middle who sleeps around a lot! Say what?
No kidding, Voyeurwebbers, that's what Australian evolutionary biologist Professor Leigh Simmons and his research team at the University of Western Australia in Crawley, near Perth, discovered while studying how quickly sperm can travel inside the female to reach the egg.
Prof. Simmons' findings, published in Biology Letters, showed that, in the race for the egg, size does not matter and having a paunchy middle and more than average sexual partners are advantages. If you're a mouse. The professor stressed that many animal species on Earth are polygamous, meaning an individual male's sperm has to compete inside the female reproductive tract with sperm from other successful suitors.
Prof. Simmons' team found that sperm from promiscuous mice swam 5 micrometers a second - or 0.00018 km/h - faster than sperm from monogamous males. As tiny as the figure is, it could be the difference in to fertilize or not to fertilize.
"Monogamous sperm have no selection pressure because at least some sperm will get up there [to the female egg] no matter how fast they swim," he said .
Once the researchers established who were the faster swimmers, they set out to find what it was that gave them the edge. "We were interested in whether longer sperm are able to swim faster because they have longer tails," said Prof. Simmons; adding that the research showed that concept was dead wrong -- the length of the tail didn't matter, the size of their mid-section did. The mid-section -- a powerhouse full of mitochondria, or energy organs, fuels the sperm, pushing them harder and faster towards the finish line.
Prof. Simmons said it is the competition between other male sperm that caused this bigger midsection to evolve.
As Eye sees it, Voyeurwebbers, if human sperm actually behave like mice sperm, then it's the beer drinkers who play the field a lot who'll win the race to the egg; not to mention everything that follows from that -- pregnancy, marriage, child/children ... "The complete catastrophe", as author Nikos Kanzatzakis had Zorba, the Greek, describe it. This, in turn, raises an important bio-evolutionary ethical question: Is this a good foundation on which to build a species? K.