All In The Family
Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems.
Finally, the other man said: "You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation.
"A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter. We got married and I got myself a stepdaughter. Later, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother. And my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law.
"Much later, the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son. But he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grandson. That made me the grandfather of my half-brother.
"This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother. This makes my father, the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife, I am my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I am my OWN GRANDFATHER!
"And you think YOU have family problems!!!"
-- Editor: This guy's gotta be from West Virginia. Hehehe!
Blonde, 25, Voted Britain's Sexiest Female Farmer!
HUTTON RUDBY, ENGLAND -- By day she trains sheep dogs, drives heavy equipment and encourages livestock to mate, Voyeurwebbers; but by night she dons a miniskirt and goes out on the town.
She is Anna Simpson (no relation to Homer Simpson), an attractive, sexy, 25-year-old blonde who was just voted Britain's sexiest female farmer.
According to contest officials, Ms. Simpson proves not all farm hands chew straw and are scruffily dressed.
Simpson, of Hutton Rudby, Yorkshire, bested hundreds of rivals in a poll held by Farmer's Weekly magazine. Simpson said: "I think many people believe a stereotypical farmer is a man in his 60s but I wanted to show they can also be young women, who want to get stuck in but also enjoy a night out," Simpson told a British newspaper.
Pete Mortimore, 25, of Widdecombe-on-the-Moor, Devon, was voted Britain's sexiest male farmer. Mortimore and Simpson each won about $400 and a pair of Wellington Boots.
Marriage by K.
In case you missed it, Voyeurwebbers, the Chinese Celebrated their New Year on February 14, which marked the end of the Year of the Ox, and the beginning of the Year of the Tiger, according to the Chinese zodiac calendar.
This change from Ox to Tiger, as it turns out, is a very big deal in China, and caused a surge in demand for marriage certificates prior to the start of the Year of the Tiger. Officials in Beijing said the rush to marry is based on cultural beliefs regarding varying fortunes associated with certain dates. Since Sunday's new year holiday comes after the official beginning of spring based on the solar-agrarian calendar, some are concerned there is no Spring in the Year of the Tiger.
Zhao Shuoxin, a new bride, explained to a news reporter that she and her new husband, Zhang Ning, considered such beliefs when planning their wedding. "This is the end of the ox year and we hard the whole of the next one will be bad for marriage," said Zhao.
With no Spring, which is associated with procreation, some Chinese are concerned a "widow year" was created. Window years are associated with infertility.
Eye shared this little item with you, Voyeurwebbers, not only because it provides a look at interesting aspects of Chinese culture, but so those of you who aren't quite ready to commit yet, but have a partner who constantly reminds them that there is no "ready" in "commitment", will now have a legitimate excuse for avoiding tying the knot: "Sorry, Honey, we can't get married this year, it's not only the Year of the Tiger; it's a Widow Year as well. We'll have to wait until next year." K.
Showing posts with label SATURDAY. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SATURDAY. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
2-Fer
2-Fer
1. Memories
One day, long, long ago, there lived a beautiful woman who did not whine, nag or bitch.
But that was a long, long time ago and it was just that one day.
2. Daily Thoughts
A. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
B. Avoid arguments with females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
C. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
D. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.
E. You only need two tools in life -- WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Bonus Thought: Some people are like slinkies -- not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
ALERT! Search On For Miss Cougar Australia 2010
SYDNEY, Australia -- If you're a male between the ages of 18 and 25, are considered handsome, have six-pack abs AND live in Australia, this might be a good time to head for the Blue Mountains.
Turns out there's a major Cougar alert Downunder from Brisbane to Melbourne, Voyeurwebbers, and these cougars like nothing more than preying on young, healthy men.
Yep, the search is on for Miss Cougar Australia 2010, and the claws will be out. U.S.-based author and relationship guru Rich Gosse is holding three cougar convention heats, in Sydney, Brisbane and Melbourne during February, and each will name regional Miss Cougars.
The event then moves to the Sunshine Coast in June to name Miss Cougar Australia 2010.
Aspiring Miss Cougars must be over 35, "legally single" and have a taste for younger men, said Gosse.
Younger men (or cubs) who are interested in snaring a cougar simply have to turn up and cast their votes.
Sperm Racing by K.
It's a lovely Spring day at Pantsare Down, Voyeurwebbers, and the anticipation is building as the sperm enter the starting gate. They're in. And ... there's the starter's gun and they're off! It's a tight pack as the sperm enter the first turn on their race to the egg.
At the second turn the pack of galloping sperm is still tight.
Wait a second, Voyeurwebbers, a sperm from Team VW is breaking away from the pack cuming .. er ... coming out of the third turn into the final stretch to the finish line and the coveted egg. The gap is widening between the rest of the sperm pack and the leader ... and at the finish line it's -- Eye hopes you're sitting down for this, Voyuerwebbers -- it's the guy with the paunchy middle who sleeps around a lot! Say what?
No kidding, Voyeurwebbers, that's what Australian evolutionary biologist Professor Leigh Simmons and his research team at the University of Western Australia in Crawley, near Perth, discovered while studying how quickly sperm can travel inside the female to reach the egg.
Prof. Simmons' findings, published in Biology Letters, showed that, in the race for the egg, size does not matter and having a paunchy middle and more than average sexual partners are advantages. If you're a mouse. The professor stressed that many animal species on Earth are polygamous, meaning an individual male's sperm has to compete inside the female reproductive tract with sperm from other successful suitors.
Prof. Simmons' team found that sperm from promiscuous mice swam 5 micrometers a second - or 0.00018 km/h - faster than sperm from monogamous males. As tiny as the figure is, it could be the difference in to fertilize or not to fertilize.
"Monogamous sperm have no selection pressure because at least some sperm will get up there [to the female egg] no matter how fast they swim," he said .
Once the researchers established who were the faster swimmers, they set out to find what it was that gave them the edge. "We were interested in whether longer sperm are able to swim faster because they have longer tails," said Prof. Simmons; adding that the research showed that concept was dead wrong -- the length of the tail didn't matter, the size of their mid-section did. The mid-section -- a powerhouse full of mitochondria, or energy organs, fuels the sperm, pushing them harder and faster towards the finish line.
Prof. Simmons said it is the competition between other male sperm that caused this bigger midsection to evolve.
As Eye sees it, Voyeurwebbers, if human sperm actually behave like mice sperm, then it's the beer drinkers who play the field a lot who'll win the race to the egg; not to mention everything that follows from that -- pregnancy, marriage, child/children ... "The complete catastrophe", as author Nikos Kanzatzakis had Zorba, the Greek, describe it. This, in turn, raises an important bio-evolutionary ethical question: Is this a good foundation on which to build a species? K.
1. Memories
One day, long, long ago, there lived a beautiful woman who did not whine, nag or bitch.
But that was a long, long time ago and it was just that one day.
2. Daily Thoughts
A. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
B. Avoid arguments with females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
C. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
D. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.
E. You only need two tools in life -- WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Bonus Thought: Some people are like slinkies -- not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
ALERT! Search On For Miss Cougar Australia 2010
SYDNEY, Australia -- If you're a male between the ages of 18 and 25, are considered handsome, have six-pack abs AND live in Australia, this might be a good time to head for the Blue Mountains.
Turns out there's a major Cougar alert Downunder from Brisbane to Melbourne, Voyeurwebbers, and these cougars like nothing more than preying on young, healthy men.
Yep, the search is on for Miss Cougar Australia 2010, and the claws will be out. U.S.-based author and relationship guru Rich Gosse is holding three cougar convention heats, in Sydney, Brisbane and Melbourne during February, and each will name regional Miss Cougars.
The event then moves to the Sunshine Coast in June to name Miss Cougar Australia 2010.
Aspiring Miss Cougars must be over 35, "legally single" and have a taste for younger men, said Gosse.
Younger men (or cubs) who are interested in snaring a cougar simply have to turn up and cast their votes.
Sperm Racing by K.
It's a lovely Spring day at Pantsare Down, Voyeurwebbers, and the anticipation is building as the sperm enter the starting gate. They're in. And ... there's the starter's gun and they're off! It's a tight pack as the sperm enter the first turn on their race to the egg.
At the second turn the pack of galloping sperm is still tight.
Wait a second, Voyeurwebbers, a sperm from Team VW is breaking away from the pack cuming .. er ... coming out of the third turn into the final stretch to the finish line and the coveted egg. The gap is widening between the rest of the sperm pack and the leader ... and at the finish line it's -- Eye hopes you're sitting down for this, Voyuerwebbers -- it's the guy with the paunchy middle who sleeps around a lot! Say what?
No kidding, Voyeurwebbers, that's what Australian evolutionary biologist Professor Leigh Simmons and his research team at the University of Western Australia in Crawley, near Perth, discovered while studying how quickly sperm can travel inside the female to reach the egg.
Prof. Simmons' findings, published in Biology Letters, showed that, in the race for the egg, size does not matter and having a paunchy middle and more than average sexual partners are advantages. If you're a mouse. The professor stressed that many animal species on Earth are polygamous, meaning an individual male's sperm has to compete inside the female reproductive tract with sperm from other successful suitors.
Prof. Simmons' team found that sperm from promiscuous mice swam 5 micrometers a second - or 0.00018 km/h - faster than sperm from monogamous males. As tiny as the figure is, it could be the difference in to fertilize or not to fertilize.
"Monogamous sperm have no selection pressure because at least some sperm will get up there [to the female egg] no matter how fast they swim," he said .
Once the researchers established who were the faster swimmers, they set out to find what it was that gave them the edge. "We were interested in whether longer sperm are able to swim faster because they have longer tails," said Prof. Simmons; adding that the research showed that concept was dead wrong -- the length of the tail didn't matter, the size of their mid-section did. The mid-section -- a powerhouse full of mitochondria, or energy organs, fuels the sperm, pushing them harder and faster towards the finish line.
Prof. Simmons said it is the competition between other male sperm that caused this bigger midsection to evolve.
As Eye sees it, Voyeurwebbers, if human sperm actually behave like mice sperm, then it's the beer drinkers who play the field a lot who'll win the race to the egg; not to mention everything that follows from that -- pregnancy, marriage, child/children ... "The complete catastrophe", as author Nikos Kanzatzakis had Zorba, the Greek, describe it. This, in turn, raises an important bio-evolutionary ethical question: Is this a good foundation on which to build a species? K.
Monday, February 15, 2010
1 Quickie, 2 Punnies
1 Quickie, 2 Punnies
1. Grocery Shopping
My wife sent me to the grocery store for organic vegetables, but not wanting to drive to our usual store, I just stopped at the corner market.
They didn't seem to carry organic produce, so I found the manager.
"These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?"
He looked at me and replied, "Nope. You're gonna have to do that yourself!"
2. At The Doctors
The blonde patient was adamant.
"Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans..."
"Whoa. Just a minute," interrupted the doctor. "What makes you think you need all these?"
"Well," said the blonde, "my boss said, if I want to keep my job, I've got to get reorganized!"
3. Public Service Alert
WARNING: If you receive an e-mail from the Department of Health telling you not to eat tinned pork because of swine flu -- ignore it. It's just spam.
Woman Posts Ex-Boyfriend's 'Little Penis' Pics
STOCKHOLM, Sweden -- A young woman in Stockholm, Sweden, has risen to prominence on VW's list of "scorned women stories", Voyeurwebbers.
According to local news reports, when the 24-year-old boyfriend broke off their relationship to date someone else, the 18-year-old woman posted pictures of his "little" penis ... not online, but in public ... on street-light posts ... in his neighborhood ... complete with his name and phone number!
The news reports said the woman also allegedly threw eggs at her ex-boyfriend's car, and posted pictures of her ex-beau's new squeeze with a note calling her a "slut".
The young woman was charged in court with harassment. Police said the woman admitted to them that she knew her activities were illegal.
Oddities by K.
Eye recently came across a couple of odd little news items, Voyeurwebbers, from disparate parts of the planet that have nothing in common except for the oddness of them. They don't quite qualify as weird, yet are still difficult to forget and will linger with you a while.
The first item is from the U.S. state of Wyoming, also proudly known as the Cowboy State. There, a would-be thief in the town of Riverton, provided local authorities with a virtuoso display of alcohol-induced stupidity.
According to Riverton Police reports, a man, whose name was withheld, ran out of a local grocery store after grabbing a bottle of Schnapps. But the man, 26, had forgotten one essential ingredient to any well-planned crime: the escape route.
Police said the man ran out of the store after grabbing the bottle of booze and a package of cough drops and hid in a nearby building. The same building, as it turned out, that housed the Riverton Police. Yep, it was the police station. Police say the man then ran out of the police station, but not before a dispatcher had spied him on the station's surveillance camera and alerted officers.
The man, who police say was drunk, was caught soon after and taken into custody on preliminary charges of resisting arrest and shoplifting.
You have to be pretty drunk to run into a police station to avoid getting caught for shoplifting, Voyeurwebbers.
The second item takes us from the Cowboy State to the island of Britain, to a unique little item about a man who is retiring after running a business helping people permanently retire for 50 years.
He's an undertaker and, after 50 years in the funeral business, he has lifted open the lid on a few of the bizarre -- Britons would probably prefer "eccentric" -- last requests of his clients or their descendants.
Take, for example, the 84-year-old widow who refused to be buried in the joint graveyard plot her husband had bought before his death, and insisted on being buried with her stuffed pet parrot instead.
Another reveals Franjo Jozic, from Zagreb, Croatia, was buried by her family with her coffin lined in banknotes.
Still, some requests can never be fulfilled, the 72-year-old undertaker explained.
"We get quite a few family members who approach us after a funeral and ask us if we can dig up their relatives to recover jewellery. But the strangest was a woman who wanted us to dig up her mother so she could get her artificial hip joint. She said she'd paid for it and she wanted it back," he said.
Definitely odd and, at least for a while, unforgettable, Voyeurwebbers. K.
1. Grocery Shopping
My wife sent me to the grocery store for organic vegetables, but not wanting to drive to our usual store, I just stopped at the corner market.
They didn't seem to carry organic produce, so I found the manager.
"These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?"
He looked at me and replied, "Nope. You're gonna have to do that yourself!"
2. At The Doctors
The blonde patient was adamant.
"Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans..."
"Whoa. Just a minute," interrupted the doctor. "What makes you think you need all these?"
"Well," said the blonde, "my boss said, if I want to keep my job, I've got to get reorganized!"
3. Public Service Alert
WARNING: If you receive an e-mail from the Department of Health telling you not to eat tinned pork because of swine flu -- ignore it. It's just spam.
Woman Posts Ex-Boyfriend's 'Little Penis' Pics
STOCKHOLM, Sweden -- A young woman in Stockholm, Sweden, has risen to prominence on VW's list of "scorned women stories", Voyeurwebbers.
According to local news reports, when the 24-year-old boyfriend broke off their relationship to date someone else, the 18-year-old woman posted pictures of his "little" penis ... not online, but in public ... on street-light posts ... in his neighborhood ... complete with his name and phone number!
The news reports said the woman also allegedly threw eggs at her ex-boyfriend's car, and posted pictures of her ex-beau's new squeeze with a note calling her a "slut".
The young woman was charged in court with harassment. Police said the woman admitted to them that she knew her activities were illegal.
Oddities by K.
Eye recently came across a couple of odd little news items, Voyeurwebbers, from disparate parts of the planet that have nothing in common except for the oddness of them. They don't quite qualify as weird, yet are still difficult to forget and will linger with you a while.
The first item is from the U.S. state of Wyoming, also proudly known as the Cowboy State. There, a would-be thief in the town of Riverton, provided local authorities with a virtuoso display of alcohol-induced stupidity.
According to Riverton Police reports, a man, whose name was withheld, ran out of a local grocery store after grabbing a bottle of Schnapps. But the man, 26, had forgotten one essential ingredient to any well-planned crime: the escape route.
Police said the man ran out of the store after grabbing the bottle of booze and a package of cough drops and hid in a nearby building. The same building, as it turned out, that housed the Riverton Police. Yep, it was the police station. Police say the man then ran out of the police station, but not before a dispatcher had spied him on the station's surveillance camera and alerted officers.
The man, who police say was drunk, was caught soon after and taken into custody on preliminary charges of resisting arrest and shoplifting.
You have to be pretty drunk to run into a police station to avoid getting caught for shoplifting, Voyeurwebbers.
The second item takes us from the Cowboy State to the island of Britain, to a unique little item about a man who is retiring after running a business helping people permanently retire for 50 years.
He's an undertaker and, after 50 years in the funeral business, he has lifted open the lid on a few of the bizarre -- Britons would probably prefer "eccentric" -- last requests of his clients or their descendants.
Take, for example, the 84-year-old widow who refused to be buried in the joint graveyard plot her husband had bought before his death, and insisted on being buried with her stuffed pet parrot instead.
Another reveals Franjo Jozic, from Zagreb, Croatia, was buried by her family with her coffin lined in banknotes.
Still, some requests can never be fulfilled, the 72-year-old undertaker explained.
"We get quite a few family members who approach us after a funeral and ask us if we can dig up their relatives to recover jewellery. But the strangest was a woman who wanted us to dig up her mother so she could get her artificial hip joint. She said she'd paid for it and she wanted it back," he said.
Definitely odd and, at least for a while, unforgettable, Voyeurwebbers. K.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2010
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2010
Today's Cryptogram
Cryptogram for February 13
Below is today's love quote cryptogram (single letter substitution):
P OSPKAN VZ P TGYPI NGK IGAVQS; P QMPHYSH VZ GIS TMG IGAVQSZ NGK..... PECPV ZASDSIZGI
Answer to yesterday's cryptogram: For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks.....Rainer Maria Rilke
(Hint: It's an inspirational quote or bit o' wisdom, with the name of the person who is credited as having said it.)
Cryptogram
"NDO PSSLSDUX SNKPOU YLWX
UXSXORLZXI YLWX'I PSSLSDUX
SNKPOUI DI." --XPOY
ZLHESLZHPYX
My Decoded Version
"--- -------- ------ ----
---------- ----'- --------
------- --." ------
-----------
The Encrypted Letter
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
represents
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -
A B C D E F G H I J K L M
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
0 0 0 4 1 0 0 2 4 0 2 7 0
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
3 5 6 0 1 10 0 5 0 2 9 4 3
Reset
Yesterday's Cryptogram Answer, and Today's Quote of the Day, is:
"Always direct your thoughts to those truths that will give you confidence, hope, joy, love, thanksgiving, and turn away your mind from those that inspire you with fear, sadness, depression." --Bertrand Wilbertforce
CNWSW LSW VMEW CNBPDV ZNBAN ALPPMC OW YWLSPWF GIBAUYT, LPF CBEW, ZNBAN BV LYY ZW NLQW, EIVC OW RLBF NWLQBYT KMS CNWBS LAGIBSBPD. CNWT LSW CNW QWST VBERYWVC CNBPDV LPF OWALIVW BC CLUWV L ELP'V YBKW CM UPMZ CNWE CNW YBCCYW PWZ CNLC WLAN ELP DWCV KSME YBKW BV QWST AMVCYT LPF CNW MPYT NWSBCLDW NW NLV CM YWLQW
WSPWVC NWEBPDZLT
VE VZ IRXRH QPBA EQ EWHQN BNBA XRERHBI DIJRHNRBH. B HRBF CDA TWRTPZ EWR CBHYBCR HRCDFBHFA VI TBZR ZQORYQJA - BIJ NR BHR IQE IBOVIC IBORZ YDE EWVZ NQDFJ YR WVZ NVGR - VZ UDVREFA EHAVIC EQ JVZTBHJ WVZ DIJRHNRBH, NWVTW ZWR VZ GHBIPFA LRBFQDZ QG, YRTBDZR EWR CDA ZRROZ EQ WBXR B OQHR VIEVOBER HRFBEVQIZWVK NVEW VE EWBI NVEW WRH
JBXR YBHHA
SXIFL XZH BLQ VLESQ VEJSH SXIFLY VRBL TEI, YZEJQ XZH TEI YSQQM XSEZQ. IZGZEVZ (JROLXJH XGX HEVZ IZHQJ)
Y8P8YWYYMYY82MFSJMKM21GM2Z4MVAJMMMPDFM1S5ZBVR65QQF535ZG6TZQZUZVZ3ZC8TEG6G8Y518YN4MPS8SDM297M2MPMR4US221M2M2ZGV9ZTZ3ZKZ5ZJVQKTVW45M4Z5R3AQ91WG8Z6X8Y3UMH3PM2MRD2MMMFS3M5M2SAM2HJVR3P62Z5MVZVTHV466V5ZJB5Y5M
LAUGH AND THE WHOLE WORLD LAUGHS WITH YOU, SNORE AND YOU SLEEP ALONE. UNKNOWN (RICHARD AKA DOWN UNDER)
2/13 FNOGC MNO KIM WUFPUNBIG FAIDIFPSDK KOFA IK HUGHN IBC WDNCN HIYYUBK IDS FDSIPODSK NW ANHHUP?
Y8B8Y7YYNYY82MFSJM7M2FGM2Z4MVAJMHMHDFM1S5ZBVRV5WQF535ZG6TZQZUZVZ3ZC8T4G7G8Y418YN4MPS8S2M197M2MPMR4US221M2M2ZGV9ZUZ5ZKZ5ZJVQKTVW45M4Z5R3AQ9ZWH8Z6X8Y3UMH3PA2MRD2MMMFS3M5M2SAM2HJVR3U6RZ5MVZVTHV466V5ZJB5Y5M
2/13 COULD YOU SAY FICTIONAL CHARACTERS SUCH AS BILBO AND FRODO BAGGINS ARE CREATURES OF HOBBIT?
"One, two, Freddy's coming for you.
Three, four, better lock your door.
Five, six, grab your crucifix.
Seven, eight, gonna stay up late.
Nine, ten, never sleep again.
One, two Freddy's coming for you
three, four better lock your door
five, six grab your crucifix
seven, eight gonna stay up late
nine, ten he's back again."
Today's Crypto Number (4220) (Saturday)
O UCX BOX CX CJLAVPXY ZX CXE YZSOU, CLCOXWY CXE ZSSZXPXY. SPZSGP RXZB YFOW, CXK WYPPJ UGPCJ ZI VP CY SCJYOPW. ZIYPX, CW C WOLX ZI YFPOJ LJPCY JPWSPUY, YFPE KZX'Y PMPX OXMOYP VP.--KCMP TCJJE
Hint: O=I
Yesterday's Answer Number(3910) (Friday) FMMCD ZGN FXQ OZDQN BZBNG XEHNDD ON DBNEP VE ZIQVME QYN OVDPML ON ANQ RGML QYMXAYQ - ZDHNNB. OYNE ON ZGN ONZGW MR QYN HVJVEA, ON LZW GNBZVG QM QYN PNZP, OYM YZJN EMQYVEA MR BNNJVDYENDD, BGVPN, MG PNDVAE VE QYNVG IMEJNGDZQVME.--OVHHVZL FXQHNG WNZQD Books are but waste paper unless we spend in action the wisdom we get from thought - asleep. When we are weary of the living, we may repair to the dead, who have nothing of peevishness, pride, or design in their conversation.--William Butler Yeats
Wordles Thought for the Day:
God must love the rich or he wouldn't divide so much among so few of them.
-H L Mencken
A KZKWIAYKG ITCXWTN QFANK A YFTEEKG, VJX AX QMY XWJNU M CKMW-GKVX KZEKWAKCIK.
Hint: J = U
Today's Cryptogram
Cryptogram for February 13
Below is today's love quote cryptogram (single letter substitution):
P OSPKAN VZ P TGYPI NGK IGAVQS; P QMPHYSH VZ GIS TMG IGAVQSZ NGK..... PECPV ZASDSIZGI
Answer to yesterday's cryptogram: For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks.....Rainer Maria Rilke
(Hint: It's an inspirational quote or bit o' wisdom, with the name of the person who is credited as having said it.)
Cryptogram
"NDO PSSLSDUX SNKPOU YLWX
UXSXORLZXI YLWX'I PSSLSDUX
SNKPOUI DI." --XPOY
ZLHESLZHPYX
My Decoded Version
"--- -------- ------ ----
---------- ----'- --------
------- --." ------
-----------
The Encrypted Letter
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
represents
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -
A B C D E F G H I J K L M
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
0 0 0 4 1 0 0 2 4 0 2 7 0
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
3 5 6 0 1 10 0 5 0 2 9 4 3
Reset
Yesterday's Cryptogram Answer, and Today's Quote of the Day, is:
"Always direct your thoughts to those truths that will give you confidence, hope, joy, love, thanksgiving, and turn away your mind from those that inspire you with fear, sadness, depression." --Bertrand Wilbertforce
CNWSW LSW VMEW CNBPDV ZNBAN ALPPMC OW YWLSPWF GIBAUYT, LPF CBEW, ZNBAN BV LYY ZW NLQW, EIVC OW RLBF NWLQBYT KMS CNWBS LAGIBSBPD. CNWT LSW CNW QWST VBERYWVC CNBPDV LPF OWALIVW BC CLUWV L ELP'V YBKW CM UPMZ CNWE CNW YBCCYW PWZ CNLC WLAN ELP DWCV KSME YBKW BV QWST AMVCYT LPF CNW MPYT NWSBCLDW NW NLV CM YWLQW
WSPWVC NWEBPDZLT
VE VZ IRXRH QPBA EQ EWHQN BNBA XRERHBI DIJRHNRBH. B HRBF CDA TWRTPZ EWR CBHYBCR HRCDFBHFA VI TBZR ZQORYQJA - BIJ NR BHR IQE IBOVIC IBORZ YDE EWVZ NQDFJ YR WVZ NVGR - VZ UDVREFA EHAVIC EQ JVZTBHJ WVZ DIJRHNRBH, NWVTW ZWR VZ GHBIPFA LRBFQDZ QG, YRTBDZR EWR CDA ZRROZ EQ WBXR B OQHR VIEVOBER HRFBEVQIZWVK NVEW VE EWBI NVEW WRH
JBXR YBHHA
SXIFL XZH BLQ VLESQ VEJSH SXIFLY VRBL TEI, YZEJQ XZH TEI YSQQM XSEZQ. IZGZEVZ (JROLXJH XGX HEVZ IZHQJ)
Y8P8YWYYMYY82MFSJMKM21GM2Z4MVAJMMMPDFM1S5ZBVR65QQF535ZG6TZQZUZVZ3ZC8TEG6G8Y518YN4MPS8SDM297M2MPMR4US221M2M2ZGV9ZTZ3ZKZ5ZJVQKTVW45M4Z5R3AQ91WG8Z6X8Y3UMH3PM2MRD2MMMFS3M5M2SAM2HJVR3P62Z5MVZVTHV466V5ZJB5Y5M
LAUGH AND THE WHOLE WORLD LAUGHS WITH YOU, SNORE AND YOU SLEEP ALONE. UNKNOWN (RICHARD AKA DOWN UNDER)
2/13 FNOGC MNO KIM WUFPUNBIG FAIDIFPSDK KOFA IK HUGHN IBC WDNCN HIYYUBK IDS FDSIPODSK NW ANHHUP?
Y8B8Y7YYNYY82MFSJM7M2FGM2Z4MVAJMHMHDFM1S5ZBVRV5WQF535ZG6TZQZUZVZ3ZC8T4G7G8Y418YN4MPS8S2M197M2MPMR4US221M2M2ZGV9ZUZ5ZKZ5ZJVQKTVW45M4Z5R3AQ9ZWH8Z6X8Y3UMH3PA2MRD2MMMFS3M5M2SAM2HJVR3U6RZ5MVZVTHV466V5ZJB5Y5M
2/13 COULD YOU SAY FICTIONAL CHARACTERS SUCH AS BILBO AND FRODO BAGGINS ARE CREATURES OF HOBBIT?
"One, two, Freddy's coming for you.
Three, four, better lock your door.
Five, six, grab your crucifix.
Seven, eight, gonna stay up late.
Nine, ten, never sleep again.
One, two Freddy's coming for you
three, four better lock your door
five, six grab your crucifix
seven, eight gonna stay up late
nine, ten he's back again."
Today's Crypto Number (4220) (Saturday)
O UCX BOX CX CJLAVPXY ZX CXE YZSOU, CLCOXWY CXE ZSSZXPXY. SPZSGP RXZB YFOW, CXK WYPPJ UGPCJ ZI VP CY SCJYOPW. ZIYPX, CW C WOLX ZI YFPOJ LJPCY JPWSPUY, YFPE KZX'Y PMPX OXMOYP VP.--KCMP TCJJE
Hint: O=I
Yesterday's Answer Number(3910) (Friday) FMMCD ZGN FXQ OZDQN BZBNG XEHNDD ON DBNEP VE ZIQVME QYN OVDPML ON ANQ RGML QYMXAYQ - ZDHNNB. OYNE ON ZGN ONZGW MR QYN HVJVEA, ON LZW GNBZVG QM QYN PNZP, OYM YZJN EMQYVEA MR BNNJVDYENDD, BGVPN, MG PNDVAE VE QYNVG IMEJNGDZQVME.--OVHHVZL FXQHNG WNZQD Books are but waste paper unless we spend in action the wisdom we get from thought - asleep. When we are weary of the living, we may repair to the dead, who have nothing of peevishness, pride, or design in their conversation.--William Butler Yeats
Wordles Thought for the Day:
God must love the rich or he wouldn't divide so much among so few of them.
-H L Mencken
A KZKWIAYKG ITCXWTN QFANK A YFTEEKG, VJX AX QMY XWJNU M CKMW-GKVX KZEKWAKCIK.
Hint: J = U
Humor Threesome
Humor Threesome
1. Bon Apetit
"Excuse me, waiter, but your finger is in my soup!"
"Yes," replied the server, "I have a fungus under my nail and my doctor told me to keep it warm and moist."
The irate customer snapped, "Then why don't you just stick it up your ass?"
The waiter immediately replied, "Oh, that's what I do when I'm in the kitchen!"
2. Rock'n Roll Heaven
Jerry Garcia awoke in an all-white recording studio, surrounded by instruments.
Jimi Hendrix and Duane Allman were tuning their guitars. John Lennon was seated at the piano.
Janis Joplin and Buddy Holly were warming up.
As he plugged into his amp, an awestruck Garcia murmured, "Wow! There really is a rock 'n' roll heaven!"
Elvis Presley said to him, "Heaven?" just as Karen Carpenter sat down at the drums and said, "Okay, people. 'Close To You' in E-flat. One, two, one, two..."
3. Good News/Bad News
Doctor: "I have good news and bad news, Liz."
Liz: "What's the good news, Doc?"
Doc: "Your lab tests came back today and your crabs are gone."
Liz: "Gee, that's great! But what's the bad news?"
Doctor: "We don't know what killed them!"
Cambridge Co-eds Asked To Quell Passion ... Why?
CAMBRIDGE, England -- If you've got a post-graduate degree, Voyeurwebbers, you might want to consider "tuning up" your education by obtaining a fellowship grant to study at England's Cambridge University. I only mention this because things in the ivy-covered halls have changed considerably in the past decade or so and university life has become much more fun ... er ... I mean, much more geared to the serious student.Here's why:
All 400 undergraduate students at historic Cambridge University's all-women Newham College have been asked to tone down their love life. The young women were sent a polite e-mail asking the to be more "discreet" when in the throes of passion after Newham College's student union received 30 complaints about the noise.
Newnham College undergraduate president Lizzy Cole sent the message asking them to quell their passion so others could get a good night's sleep.
Miss Cole, 19, who was on last year's Cambridge University Challenge team, said that while Newnham had a reputation for being "slutty" the e-mail did not just refer to sex.
Boyfriends are allowed to stay in student rooms at the 139-year-old college for two days before they have to register for a spare room.
One Newnham undergraduate, 20, said: "It's just so embarrassing to think that people have been listening in. I was blushing when I got the email.
"You try to keep it down, but it's easy to forget the walls are so thin if you get a bit carried away. This sort of thing must happen at every university in the country. Only in Cambridge would your fellow students complain. They'll be handing out ear plugs next."
Rear of the Year by K.
There is an annual event in Britain, Voyeurwebbers, that not only reflects Britons' eccentric sense of humor, but the national pride they take in their expertise at identifying a really great rear end on a woman. The event is called the "Rear of the Year", with various categories, so naturally Eye likes to keep a close watch on the event.
The nominations for this year's Rear of the Year awards have barely begun -- the winners will be announced in June at a gala ceremony at London's Dorchester Hotel -- and a buzz is brewing about an unexpected nominee who is rising up the list in on-line nomination polls. Eye should mention that the Rear of the Year top award goes to the British woman deemed to have the best-looking rear in a tight pair of jeans, which may explain why Wizard Jeans is hosting this year's event.
The reason for the buzz is Harriet Harman who, at first glance, seems an odd nominee. For one thing, Ms. Harmon is an MP (Member of Parliament) representing the Camberwell and Peckham district, and is also a leader of the House of Commons, and Minister for Women in the British cabinet.
She is known for her staunch feminist views, wants pictures of the scantily clad young women known as Page 3 girls banned from the workplace, wants the term "chairman" banned as being sexist -- and has been nominated for the annual Rear of the Year award. No one seems to know for sure if the nominations were from admirers of Ms. Harman's derrier, or merely tongue-in-cheek ... pun intended.
Nonetheless, earlier this week Ms. Harman had already received 12 nominations, according to Rear of the Year organizer Tony Edwards.
"These are not large numbers but a dozen nominations in one week usually indicates encouragement on a fan-based website or an organized group effort of some kind," Edwards told local news media.
"During the past month we've received flurries of votes inspired by celebrities on Strictly Come Dancing, Celebrity Dancing on Ice and various TV soaps, but we're surprised to see the MP for Camberwell and Peckham among the latest nominations," said Edwards, then rattled off a couple of double entendres that Eye liked.
One: "Perhaps some of Labour's (Britain's Labour Party) backbenchers have decided to get behind her in the competition."
Two: "These are early days with a further four months of voting to go so it would be premature to talk about a winner from the world of politics or whether Ms Harman's seat is set for the spotlight."
So there you have it, Voyeurwebbers. The Rear of the Year contest just got underway and already the drama, tension, and anticipation of seeing some British women with great rear ends are building. Will Harriet Hartman have the best bum in Britain, or will that hot, sexy young newcomer Lady Gaga wiggle away with the top prize for the best bottom?
Rest assured, Voyeurwebbers, Eye will keep a close watch on British women's rear ends -- and those of whole lot of women in other countries -- between now and June. It's easy. You can do it, too. All you have to do is browse through any or all of VW's sections. It's a good thing the Rear of the Year contest isn't until June, Eye can almost get a tenth of the way through VW's archive, Funbags, by then. K.
1. Bon Apetit
"Excuse me, waiter, but your finger is in my soup!"
"Yes," replied the server, "I have a fungus under my nail and my doctor told me to keep it warm and moist."
The irate customer snapped, "Then why don't you just stick it up your ass?"
The waiter immediately replied, "Oh, that's what I do when I'm in the kitchen!"
2. Rock'n Roll Heaven
Jerry Garcia awoke in an all-white recording studio, surrounded by instruments.
Jimi Hendrix and Duane Allman were tuning their guitars. John Lennon was seated at the piano.
Janis Joplin and Buddy Holly were warming up.
As he plugged into his amp, an awestruck Garcia murmured, "Wow! There really is a rock 'n' roll heaven!"
Elvis Presley said to him, "Heaven?" just as Karen Carpenter sat down at the drums and said, "Okay, people. 'Close To You' in E-flat. One, two, one, two..."
3. Good News/Bad News
Doctor: "I have good news and bad news, Liz."
Liz: "What's the good news, Doc?"
Doc: "Your lab tests came back today and your crabs are gone."
Liz: "Gee, that's great! But what's the bad news?"
Doctor: "We don't know what killed them!"
Cambridge Co-eds Asked To Quell Passion ... Why?
CAMBRIDGE, England -- If you've got a post-graduate degree, Voyeurwebbers, you might want to consider "tuning up" your education by obtaining a fellowship grant to study at England's Cambridge University. I only mention this because things in the ivy-covered halls have changed considerably in the past decade or so and university life has become much more fun ... er ... I mean, much more geared to the serious student.Here's why:
All 400 undergraduate students at historic Cambridge University's all-women Newham College have been asked to tone down their love life. The young women were sent a polite e-mail asking the to be more "discreet" when in the throes of passion after Newham College's student union received 30 complaints about the noise.
Newnham College undergraduate president Lizzy Cole sent the message asking them to quell their passion so others could get a good night's sleep.
Miss Cole, 19, who was on last year's Cambridge University Challenge team, said that while Newnham had a reputation for being "slutty" the e-mail did not just refer to sex.
Boyfriends are allowed to stay in student rooms at the 139-year-old college for two days before they have to register for a spare room.
One Newnham undergraduate, 20, said: "It's just so embarrassing to think that people have been listening in. I was blushing when I got the email.
"You try to keep it down, but it's easy to forget the walls are so thin if you get a bit carried away. This sort of thing must happen at every university in the country. Only in Cambridge would your fellow students complain. They'll be handing out ear plugs next."
Rear of the Year by K.
There is an annual event in Britain, Voyeurwebbers, that not only reflects Britons' eccentric sense of humor, but the national pride they take in their expertise at identifying a really great rear end on a woman. The event is called the "Rear of the Year", with various categories, so naturally Eye likes to keep a close watch on the event.
The nominations for this year's Rear of the Year awards have barely begun -- the winners will be announced in June at a gala ceremony at London's Dorchester Hotel -- and a buzz is brewing about an unexpected nominee who is rising up the list in on-line nomination polls. Eye should mention that the Rear of the Year top award goes to the British woman deemed to have the best-looking rear in a tight pair of jeans, which may explain why Wizard Jeans is hosting this year's event.
The reason for the buzz is Harriet Harman who, at first glance, seems an odd nominee. For one thing, Ms. Harmon is an MP (Member of Parliament) representing the Camberwell and Peckham district, and is also a leader of the House of Commons, and Minister for Women in the British cabinet.
She is known for her staunch feminist views, wants pictures of the scantily clad young women known as Page 3 girls banned from the workplace, wants the term "chairman" banned as being sexist -- and has been nominated for the annual Rear of the Year award. No one seems to know for sure if the nominations were from admirers of Ms. Harman's derrier, or merely tongue-in-cheek ... pun intended.
Nonetheless, earlier this week Ms. Harman had already received 12 nominations, according to Rear of the Year organizer Tony Edwards.
"These are not large numbers but a dozen nominations in one week usually indicates encouragement on a fan-based website or an organized group effort of some kind," Edwards told local news media.
"During the past month we've received flurries of votes inspired by celebrities on Strictly Come Dancing, Celebrity Dancing on Ice and various TV soaps, but we're surprised to see the MP for Camberwell and Peckham among the latest nominations," said Edwards, then rattled off a couple of double entendres that Eye liked.
One: "Perhaps some of Labour's (Britain's Labour Party) backbenchers have decided to get behind her in the competition."
Two: "These are early days with a further four months of voting to go so it would be premature to talk about a winner from the world of politics or whether Ms Harman's seat is set for the spotlight."
So there you have it, Voyeurwebbers. The Rear of the Year contest just got underway and already the drama, tension, and anticipation of seeing some British women with great rear ends are building. Will Harriet Hartman have the best bum in Britain, or will that hot, sexy young newcomer Lady Gaga wiggle away with the top prize for the best bottom?
Rest assured, Voyeurwebbers, Eye will keep a close watch on British women's rear ends -- and those of whole lot of women in other countries -- between now and June. It's easy. You can do it, too. All you have to do is browse through any or all of VW's sections. It's a good thing the Rear of the Year contest isn't until June, Eye can almost get a tenth of the way through VW's archive, Funbags, by then. K.
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